I'm a voyeur

I watch my children play. I watch them when they have no idea that I am watching. This weekend I watched Storyteller dance. I had turned on some Jazz. My kinda music.

Then I sat down to read a book while waiting on my laundry to cycle through the washer. I looked up from my book and saw Storyteller dancing. She was imagining an audience. Storyteller would dance all through a song. She danced with inhibitions thrown to the wind. At the end of a song she would curtsy. Then she would turn her back and wait for the next track. As soon as the first notes sounded Storyteller would whirl around and begin dancing again. She brought me such joy. I loved watching her but at one point I was struck with the thought that I was intruding on her privacy. Did that make me a voyeur?

Of course not in the strict sense of the word. But observing my daughter dancing while she was unaware did that make me an intruder? Was I somehow breaking some sort of social rule?

After awhile I really didn't care. I loved watching my child dance. Storyteller really was enjoying herself. Which in turn meant I enjoyed watching her. It even brought back memories for me. I remember doing the same exact thing. Only I would have died with mortification if my parents had ever watched. I always thought I was unobserved. Now I wonder whether my parents ever watched while I danced uninhibitedly. Of course now I wouldn't die of embarassment because out of all the people in the world I would rather my parents watch the wild dances I would create than anyone else. I hope Storyteller doesn't mind that I snuck a peek at her private dance. I hope she knows that that is a cherished memory if she ever finds out.