Being positive is difficult

Being positive is difficult when you are naturally pessimistic. I mean it, when I say my motto is to expect the worse. I developed this philosophy back in Iran.

We lived two years in Iran. I was a very young girl. Only seven and eight years old. While living there I can't tell you how many times I had my heart broken.

My parents would plan these outings to various places. Then something would happen that would put off those plans. I remember learning in a vague way about the 24 hour clock. We were going to go up to the mountains for a picnic. I was so excited. Then my mom came down with a migraine. I remember telling my dad that we could just go when it was 12 o'clock again. I remember my dad's smile. He told me that that wasn't 12 o'clock again but midnight.

There were other times when we had plans to do something but couldn't because there was unrest out there. I don't think I completely grasped the idea that the unrest was directed at us, Americans. I just knew we didn't get to go where ever it was we had plans to go.

When I tell people about living in Iran many people couldn't believe the tales. There I was a seven year old girl witnessing a woman being stoned to death. Or looking out the window and watching the camels passing by on their way into the city. I remember how mean the boys were. They use to push me down, and they would say mean things to me. The girls weren't necessarily better. They were older than me. They would come to play with my toys but not with me. I had Barbies, real Barbies and they loved them. Imagine being pushed away from your toys; unable to play with them. Not an easy thing to deal with for a child.

The most bazaar things that happened to me were perpetrated by our land-lady. She got mad one time; I'm not even sure who or why she was mad but I became her victim. I was playing in the cellar. She threw my favorite riding toy, a yellow bunny rabbit with the pink ears, down the stairs. It smashed into pieces, and then she locked me in the cellar in the dark. I still have nightmares of being locked in a place that is dark.

So, I learned at a small age that things do not work out all the time. So why get your hopes up? Expect the worse and sometimes you are pleasantly surprised.