Friends / Enemies

"Never explain — your friends do not need it, and your enemies will not believe you anyway." Source unknown.

How my dad tried to get this through my head.

Opinions.

You have the right to your opinions; as long as you keep them to yourself. Says a friend...

Ignorant vs. stupid

According to the Webster dictionsary ignorant is uninformed or without education. Stupid... showing a lack of sense or intelligence.

I write this because I've been trying to explain to my children that when I corrected something they say it is not to be critical... at least not in a negative way but to help them sound like the intelligent young ladies that they are.

Buffet; ballet-- neither of these words are suppose to be said with the t sound at the end. DQ often insists on saying buf fet. GRRRRRRRRRR. "Buffe with the short e sound DQ", says mommy. DQ responds with a bunch of eye rolling and sighing.

Recently I explained to her that when she speaks and mispronounces things she sounds ignorant. It's okay to sound ignorant at times because there is something you can do about ignorance. Ignorance has a cure. It is education. It is enlightenment. Ignorance does not have to be terminal.

On the other hand, there is stupid. Stupid is terminal. Stupid. There is nothing one can do about being stupid. And forgive me folks there are stupid people in this world. Bless their hearts, all they can do is their very best and that's it. They are lucky if they can find something in this world that they can do well. Sometimes they can and you know what most times they're happy.

I work at a community college where we believe in student success. I do believe in student success. But there are times when I help someone, and I seriously have issues with the college, and their belief that every student that walks through our doors will leave with an associates degree. What I mean is I help people who just don't get the education process. They are trying really hard. I mean it. They are working their butts off. But they just can't process all the information that they are expected to learn and know. I see them struggling. And I always try really hard to help them but sometimes I really, really get the feeling that they just don't get it. My heart breaks for them because I know they are really trying. But I also know they will never become Einsteins or even above average. I hate to say that but it's true.

On a personal note, I know my girls are smart. Not one of them are stupid. So I'm going to continue to correct their pronunciation of words and their grammar. I'm going to insist they look things up in the dictionary or the encyclopedia. I am determined that my children will not be ignorant of general knowledge stuff. Of course they will have those subjects that they are ignorant of as we all have subjects we are ignorant of due to disinterest or not being exposed to those ideas and concepts. But ignorance is not terminal folks... Given a reason to explore and learn my girls can do it. I just want them to know they can do it.

I'm in love

I'm in love! It's the greatest thing! The flutters one feels with the first flush of love. How you anxiously await to see your beloved's face and their beautiful smile. Yes, I feel all these things and more!

I live to hear the laugh and to see the smile. I feel complete when my beloved blesses me with a smile. That toothless grin the precious giggles. Oh how I love all of that.

Yes, I'm speaking of the New Baby. I have also found a name for the new baby. From this day forward new baby will be Imp. That's right Imp. Why Imp? Well I'll tell ya...

First, Imp has a look that comes over her face that can only be described as impish.

Second, I can tell when Imp is storing something away in the long term memory to be tried out when she gets more mobile. Adorable.

Mobile! Imp is crawling now. Yep c.r.a.w.l.i.n.g. Ok, it's only an army type crawl-- you know the drag the belly on the ground crawl but she's still able to get where she wants to go. She's the only one of my kids to do this.

Imp is also sitting by herself. She's been doing this for about 1 1/2 months. She can't get herself into it but if you place her down in a sitting position she can sit.

Imp loves to vocalize. She can be pretty darn loud. But why should she be any different from the others? I swear she's saying dada; and mama but PF refuses to believe it. I also think she is saying Hiiii. It's an adorable tone to it too. Kinda of a high pitch. Ohhhh. High pitch! Let me tell you about the scream Imp has. It is a high pitch, ear shattering scream. Luckily she does not share this with us very often.

I'm trying to think if there is anything else I ought to share with folks. At this time I can't think of anything. QueenB and Adjective Queen I really appreciate your comments from my last post. It so nice to know I'm not alone in the world of bedtime angst.

Time

This year I'm having the hardest time getting the older girls to bed by 8:30PM. I don't know what the problem is. Do I lack motiviation? Are they rebelling? Has the New Baby messed up the rhythm of the household so much?

I try to get them to bed. I really do. But then there are other nights where I just don't feel up to the fight. And yes bedtime is a fight.

Professionals all talk about having a bedtime ritual. They say do not deviate from it. But really do these people live in the same world as I do? I mean... what about the school event scheduled for 7PM. What do you do then? Tell the school, "I'm sorry but that is conflicting with the bedtime ritual I've created for my children." And yes to get them to bed for 8:30PM you must start the ritual by 7PM.

Frankly we lost what ever ritual we had. I don't know where it went to. All I know is that by 5PM I'm ready to shut the house down but the kids are not. In fact their schedules are so that we don't get home until after 5:30 most days.

Today I got lucky and got dinner in the crock pot. In fact today is our longest day. We won't get home until after 6:30PM. In fact Wednesday we won't get home until 8:30PM. I love Wednesday nights. I get to meet with some mothers that I absolutely adore. These are the neatest young women. We sit and talk and watch each other's children. Between the 3 of us we have 13 children. One of them wants a 5th child so bad you can see it shining in her eyes. I just love watching us herd our kids around together. We make quite a group. Plus it's like herding kittens. It's impossible.

What's really funny is to see the disapproving eyes of folks. They don't like our children at our church too well. They think we have too many. Funny that, since we are all Catholic. Our kids aren't bad. Okay. There are times when they get a little loud and run but hey they are kids! Kids do that. Those rich bitch kids at the Catholic school are ruder than our kids ever are. Oh well. Money smooths everything over I suppose.

Sorry for the tangent. Anyway, I'm just wondering if I'll ever get back into the swing of things. Bedtime. How very difficult bedtime is for me these days. If only PF won't bellow so. I don't know. I'm just feeling very mellow these days. I'm wishing the kids would just get motivated to go to bed on their own. Pipe dreams.

A Point of Convergence

I have a spot in my house where people just naturally end up gathering. A couple of years back I celebrated my birthday with friends. My close friends. Anyway, I'm in the kitchen cooking the meal. Where do the folks all gather to talk? It's in front of the refrigerator. There is only about 49 inches between the frig and the counter. Yet people always stand there when I'm having a party and even when I'm not.

Here's a thought for everyone--Could it be that the frig is a magnet? A people magnet? I mean I know magnets go on the frig but could the frig be emminating a tractor beam? Are people drawn to this appliance out of sheer helplessness?

Why does this even bother me? Well it is very difficult to get in the frig when there are people standing in front of it. When you are cooking a meal you frequently need to be in the frig. Hence this is a pet peeve of mine.

There's more to the story, too. I mentioned magnets earlier. I have 2 children that sit in front of the frig to play with magnets. They tell elaborate stories to themselves or each other. Again this inhibits getting into the frig. I'm forever shooing them away from the frig.

I'm going home early today. I'm going to drag out the magnetic boards I made a place them around my kitchen. Probably against the bar. Maybe that will help with the kids sitting in front of the frig. Don't know but it's better than never trying.

Pacifier

Long ago when my older daughters were babies they would not take a pacifier. PF would put one in and out it would pop. I would look at him with a face that I fear could only be described as triumphant. See I'm not a great proponent for pacifiers. I hate the way they look in a child's mouth. I hate that people seem to try to plug up their children.

PF tried to use a pacifier with all three of the older girls. None of them would take a pacifier. I remember how relieved I was. I would never have to worry about dealing with the missing "Binky". I would never have to watch my child walk around looking like there was a plug in her mouth.

Now we're on to our 4th child. Life is much different. I don't know how New Baby took to pacifiers but I think the younger children are far more persitent than her parents are or ever were. Apparently the older girls would hold the pacifier in NB's mouth until she would start to suck on it. Then they would run to me proudly to inform me that the pacifier was in NB's mouth.

Guess what? I now see the value of a pacifier. I still don't like the looks of them. I tend to feel a bit guilty about using a pacifier. But they really come in handy. See NB tends to sort of wake in the middle of the night and cry and fuss. She's really not hungry. I've just fed her. If I get that pacifier into her mouth before she's fully awake I get to go back to sleep. So I know think of pacifiers as my friends. I still don't use them as much as most folks do. I don't mind NB sucking on her fingers. (Stastistically she will need braces with or without sucking on her fingers) But they are my night time friend.

Now before I go to sleep I make sure I have a pacifier sitting in the corner of the crib. Then I know I'm ready for the night time routine. Two feedings during the night and one up to insert pacifier and go back to sleep. All are happy with this routine. Yay for the persitent children in my life!

Toe nails

Ever since my dad died 5 years ago I've let my toe nails grow. I was a ballet dancer. To wear pointe shoes you could not have long nails. My father use to get so angry with me because I cut my toenails so short. I understand he worried about in-grown toenails. My family has horrible problems with them. My dad suffered from the especially.

Now I'm letting my nails grow. Althoughs years while I danced I never had any problems with in grown toenails. But the past few years I've had more of them. They are not pleasant. One winter I had to wear sandals because of a flair up.

While I was pregnant, my toenails grew so quickly. I got so large I couldn't cut them myself. I was at the mercy of PF. It was funny; he would cut them short like I did while I was young. It would drive me crazy because it caused a funny feeling in my toe.

I'm back to being able to cut my own nails. It's time for them to be cut. In bed the sheet drags on them and pulls them down. I laugh to myself and think of my father. I have toe nails now. I wonder what he would think of them.