I am so ready to ditch the public schools. I realize that eventually I would have to deal with the pubescent mating rituals but I think that at six years old it is ridiculous for boys to be calling girls at 9:18PM.
Perhaps this would not be happening at all if the older brother wasn't egging the boy on this course. I personally fear that the Big Brother has a thing for Drama Queen. Confused? I know I am.
Last night we got a phone call at 9:15. The boy asked to speak to Drama Queen. I informed him that Drama Queen was in bed. I also explained to him that Drama Queen would not be allowed to take phone calls after 7:00PM.
Then the prank calls started. Luckily I had gone in to scold Passionfruit for picking up the phone before the caller id could register the number. The next time they called one boy asked if I had ordered a pizza and the other talked about wanting to talk to his girlfriend. They immediately hung up and I called their number. For the first few times the boys kept answering and telling me I had the wrong number and hanging up on me. What they didn't know was I am a very stubborn and determined individual. I knew right then and there that I was going to continue calling all night long if that was what it was going to take to speak to an adult.
Finally on the fourth phone call I got the father. I explained the situation, and told him that I was quite frankly a little afraid that his older son had his eye on my daughter. Of course, the man poo pooed me. Told me I had nothing to fear. I then told him that he needed to put himself in my position. I told him that my daughter is a very pretty girl who is very sweet, too. I asked him wouldn't he be a bit worried that boys were calling her at 9:00PM?
These things never happened in the private school I sent the girls to. In fact no boy ever called Drama Queen while she attended there. Last night I was ready to walk in to the school and pull my children out of there. Of course, I know that I can't just act rashly. Those boys are probably harmless but still I am her mother. Is it not my job to do the best I can in protecting my children? Oh well, I'm probably just over-reacting.
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4 comments:
Maybe it was the black eye that got them going? I mean, it made her stand out in some way she hadn't before?
How old are these boys anyway? Their father sounds like a complete idiot, if not a complete a**hat. (Unless he doesn't know how old Drama Queen is. But then, he should know or, at least, care to find out.) Because even if 9pm doesn't seem too late to him, making repeated prank/harassing phone calls ought to be completely unacceptable behavior for his sons to engage in.
Well I don't know if we had a language barrier problem but he just didn't seem to believe that his eleven year old son would be talking to a six year old. The younger brother is in Drama Queen's class and called the first time about 3 or 4 weeks ago during the afternoon. They've called a couple of times before. They both talked to her then, and they were both on the phone last night.
After what happened at a picnic in the summer with a bunch of boys around the same age as the older brother dumping mud all over Drama Queen I am very worried about older boys. Drama Queen feels very flattered by the attention. Duh! Who won't. But this Mama just doesn't want these boys looking at her baby.
One time a few years ago I happened upon one of those day-time shows. It was teen girls that strip for older boys to make money. I live terrified that one of my girls might end up doing this. I can only pray that they don't. Of course I am trying so hard to teach them that there is such a thing as modesty and to respect their bodies. Oh it's just happening way to soon! She's my baby! Really I am terribly concerned here. How much is too much information? Am I doing a dis-service to them by trying to protect them from the cult of sex our culture wallows in? By trying to keep them little girls for as long as possible?
The best thing you can do for DQ is to let every one know that you are crazy with a capital C. That you will hunt down and destroy any creep that messes with your kid. And that goes for the father of that boy. I agree with Michigosh. What kind of father shrugs off prank calls to 6-year-olds like that? He must be completely disconnected. Or high.
Here's some armchair, amateur psychoanalysis I've been thinking about & can't not offer, for whatever it's worth:
I would bet everything that this older boy is just mimicking behavior he saw in his father or which his father taught him -- which is why the father couldn't hear/believe you. He is merely passing on this sick legacy to his little brother, trying to father/facilitate the kid, who probably started out with a simple childish crush on Drama Queen.
Boys/people who bully need to dominate others in order to compensate for their own insecurity. Girls/people who become their victims believe they deserve bullying because they're insecure. And teen girls who strip for older boys are seeking attention because they don't value their own worth & are also insecure.
So it's a self-perpetuating dynamic on all sides. Fueled by a basic insecurity, that is, a need to be validated by others, whether offensively or defensively. But if a child is taught to trust & value herself, her own identity, strength & resources, to know that those things come from within & not without, and not fear others nor (especially) come to believe that others can have such power over her, then she can withstand such external pressure & will not be prone to be victimized.
Of course all this is easy for me to say, not being a mother. But I CAN say it, with hindsight, having been an insecure child who was bullied & made fun of & struggled to learn how to deal with it.
The surest way for parents to protect their children is not to shield them from threats but equip them with the tools to thwart them. You don't prevent drowning by avoiding the water; you prevent it by learning how to swim.
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