My nearest and dearest

In October Passionfruit and I will celebrate 12 years of marriage. It's strange how time moves. Sometimes it's like it isn't moving at all and other times it's going so fast I'm left reeling. Our years together have been wonderful. There is time when I feel as though I've always been married to Passionfruit. And I don't meant that in a bad way. I mean there is a sense of rightness to this relationship. We fit together perfectly. We compliment each other. Where one is weak the other is strong. What one likes the other dislikes; although, we have plenty in common, too.

When I think about all the things our marriage has been through it astounds me. I mean this is the 10 year anniversary of my destroying a car. Passionfruit marked this year by-- destroying a car. In each case neither of us ever got angry with the other. In fact both of us were just extremely grateful that the other wasn't hurt. In the last few years we've each lost a parent. Passionfruit spent 18 months consoling me while I struggled with an impossible work situation. I've dealt with Passionfruit's rotating shift work on a 24 hour clock for most of my married life. Both of us endured seperations when work has sent us away. We've struggled with infertility and the feelings surrounding that issue. I'm trying to be there for Passionfruit when the stresses of his new job strike. We went through an adoption together. We gave birth to two children together. Yes, I give him credit for the birth experience because he was there walking with me; rubbing my back and holding what ever part needed holding.

As I continue to think about our time together I think that we really haven't been together long at all. Passionfruit still surprises me from time to time. Like his football obession. I wasn't aware of it at all during the time we dated and most of our married life. In fact it's just been the last two years that I've discovered it! I guess the shift work really hid this facet in my man. Also, I still don't get how Passionfruit can be such a messy person but be so immaculate about food and dish cleanliness. Passionfruit gets upset when I let the kids eat off the floor in our house. I'm thinking, "We don't have any dogs, cats or any other animals in the house. So why not?" He'll even peer closely at forks, knives and spoons. I'm thinking that someone so bothered by such things would be immaculate everywhere in his life but he's not.

Now, I don't want to give the impression that I'm dissing my man because I'm not. I love Passionfruit something fierce. It's strange the code in my family of origin is, "It's okay for us to mess with each other but it's not okay for an outsider to mess with one of us." I've carried this into my marriage. I hate it when someone is mean to my honey. I fume and think, "I'm going to talk to so-in-so". Luckily the more mature side steps in and stops any rash behavior but I don't think too kindly about that person for a while. There are times when I'm not so nice to Passionfruit but that's different. Plus, don't worry, I whip myself enough for those times when I'm lacking in my tenderness to my sweetie.

I'm writing this because lately I've been having such strong feelings for my man. It's been a real roller coaster ride. I'm mainly struck by the realization that I LOVE MY HUSBAND. I'm also struck by the realization I'm not always in love with my husband. But I also realize that's okay because I do end up falling in love with him all over again. Those times when I fall back in love with him are some really sweet, wonderful times. They are like frosting on the cake. It makes the cake look so pretty, and when you eat it it's really sweet. It's pure yumminess. The rest of the time you're just getting the cake. It's good but it's all the same. I wish more people would realize that a loving relationship is not static and remains the same. That love actually grows and matures, and if you're lucky it strengthens. Passionfruit and I love. It is one thing that I know is true in this world. We are totally committed to one another and our children.

Let me share what makes me fall in love with Passionfruit. I absolutely adore him when he is playing with our children. I think one of the sexiest things Passionfruit can do is take care of our children. Like washing and putting a bandaid on a boo boo. Those kinds of things are just really heart warming for me.

Passionfruit is a good father. But more importantly, Passionfruit is a good husband. I never go with out. I'm cared for beyond what my parents provided. I feel totally cherished (most of the times). I know I'm loved. I am thankful for this man. I am totally glad I chose him to be my husband. I thank God for this husband of mine.