Thoughts just before Halloween

I'm going to be a great aunt in July. Oh, this isn't the first time I'm going to be a great aunt. It is the first time I'll see the little creature more frequently than the others. This made me think about life and the cycle of life we Americans work so hard to forget. See I view this child as a nail in my coffin or maybe just the lid setting down on the casket. You get my drift anyway. Here is the replacement generation. My brother is old enough to be a grandfather! I can hardly believe it. He just turned 50 this year, this month to be precise.

Then I think, 50! Oh my gosh! Even if he lives to be 100 he is half way through his life. I'm well over a quarter of the way through mine. (Using the 100 marker) Reconsidering 100 I realize I am closer to being half way through this life myself.

Please, don't misunderstand. I don't want to live forever. In fact, if medical science somehow figures out the trick to eternal life I'll be among the first to slit my own wrists but even that event would be years from now anyway.

No, what I'm trying to get at is how life cycles through. For example, I'm often struck by the fact that my two oldest daughters are born in the corresponding dates of the paternal grandmother and great aunt. My great aunt was born in 1900 and my grandmother was born 1901. Drama Queen 2000 and Storyteller 2001. The preceding ladies were close. So close that my grandmother chose her sister over her daughter in a family argument that ripped the family apart for 20 some years. I'm only now getting to know that estranged daughter and I resent that I didn't have a chance to know her all those years prior.

Anyway, I've lived my life looking for parallels. I love history because I always would figure out how old I would be if I had been born during that time. Confused? What I mean would be if it was an event happening in the 1800s I would then have been born in 1868. I would spend a large amount of my imagination figuring out what I would have felt and believed if I had lived in those times. Of course some would say that that is a futile waste of time but it amused me and it still does.

So now my children are looking forward to a baby. I'm grateful because Miss Independence recently asked for a baby. She meant a real live baby. Oh speaking of marking time, Miss Independence turned four yesterday. We had the family party. I know my brother and his family forgot about it but they did finally show. Miss Independence had a ball. Most of her gifts were horses. She got to pick out the present from Aunt I don't get mad/I get even. It is a beautiful quarter horse figure that stands about two hands high. Miss Independence and Storyteller each try sitting on the thing. It is not built for that. Aunt Sister Sister gave her a stick pony (with accompanying horsey noises) and my brother gave her a My Pretty Pony. Passionfruit and I gave her a Cabbage Patch Horse. (They are much much cuter than the dolls.) Her chosen theme was Spiderman. We had a woman make her cake and we had the balloon bouquet.

Tomorrow is Halloween and the girls are looking forward to it. I'm not I've been sick for over a week now. I went on a trip during this illness. I ended up with an asthma attack. Found out today that it is not a good idea to fly with an asthma attack. Don't really know why although the way the PA kept shaking her head led me to believe I was courting a near death experience. She advised that I get an inhaler. My comment to her was gee I thought I grew out of the damn things. So many things I was suppose to grow out of... ecezema, asthma, acne. I guess I did grow out of the first two but lately I've apparently grown back into them. Let me tell ya growing up sucks. But back to Halloween, Passionfruit seems to have this idea that I'm going to be running all over town to take the girls places boy is he in for a big surprise. I'm considering not taking Drama Queen to tap tomorrow because I still feel like death warmed over. Looked at myself in the mirror today. I won't be needing any costume tomorrow if I still look like this.