The past crashing down

This morning while walking Miss Independence to preschool there was something about the morning that threw me back into the past. I so vividly remembered walking along the road in my housing development. I had my brand new shoes on that had rubber soles. The heel on those soles looked like a horseshoe.

So, I started walking on my heels with my toes pointed high in the air. That way I left only a horseshoe impression in the soft sand that collected along the curb of the street. I really thought I was so clever. I remember I had so much fun walking that way.

Soon I was thinking about Drama Queen because the shoes I remembered had a couple of inches to the heel. DQ so loves high heels and anything girly but she is still a little girl, and I could see her walking the very same way.

Later that morning I read Adjective Queen’s blog. She was reminiscing about visiting family, and once again I had vivid memories crashing over me. I remember our annual vacation as a child. We went and visited our grandparents. We would spend three miserable days in the car. This was before minivans. Even if they existed I don’t think my parents would have bought one. I think they took great satisfaction in seeing how many children and suitcases they could cram into a four door sedan. My most vivid memories are of the Chevy Nova we had for twenty some years.

Anyway we would drive half way across the continent to see our parent’s parents and their siblings. We would stay at my Grandpap’s for a few days and then we would pack up and stay with my Grandma. Then we would pack up and stay with my Grandpap and then back to my Grandma’s. In between we would go to different uncles and aunts’ houses to have dinner. My father’s family was relatively okay. The main problem there was our cousins thought we were all a bunch of country bumpkins. They lived all their lives in a big city and had tough city mannerisms. We were a bunch of Air Force brats that behaved in a regimented way. We had to. Our father’s very livelihood depended on our behavior. Most civilians don’t know this but your Dad could loose his stripes based on your behavior. Walk on the grass… RIIIIIIPP! There goes a stripe. There goes the money that fed you. Dare to TP a house... RIIIIIIIPP! RIIIIIIIIIIIIIP! There goes a couple of stripes and the money that fed you.

But I digress. The real big memory that came back to me reading Adjective Queen’s entry is my mother’s family. I remember sitting in the car watching my mother’s older sister chew her out. My mom hadn’t done a thing to earn this treatment other than to be alive. I remember watching the scene and being scared. The livid red face, the spittle flying, the hands gesturing erratically. My mom’s face turning pale, crest-fallen. I remember wondering why we kept going there because none of us ever had a good time. I think my older brother was the only one that did have a good time but he was old enough to blow off the family and go his own way, and my oldest brother didn’t even have to go on these annual summer sojourns.

Now with my own family I don’t torture the children with endless visits to family. When we go on vacation… we go on vacation and visit family along the way. We spend an afternoon with this aunt and uncle. We spend an evening visiting that uncle and aunt. But we always have a destination in mind and rarely do we spend an overnighter with family. Although, we do have a few family members that we enjoy visiting longer and we do go and see them.

No, what amazes me today is how the past can be replayed in your head like the days, weeks, months and years that seperate you from the event never happened. It all was just yesterday. I opened with a memory of something that was about 25 years ago. The other was even older (31 yrs.) but despite those years I was still sitting in that car watching my mother getting attacked. Amazing.