This is my fortieth year. Truly, it doesn't bother me to be turning the big 4O but I have to admit I've got somethings going on in my head. So I'm going to share with you all my mid-life crisis "project". Here it is in color, I want a trike or maybe this one.
I'm not courageous enough to go for a motorcycle but a trike would be cool. Of course, I doubt that PF would take me seriously. So maybe I will have to wait until the kids are out of the house.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Thursday, June 26, 2008
My Career
I'm here at the reference desk. This has been a boring night. So very few people coming to me for my sage advice. I guess if you reframe this thought one might think of it this way, "I get paid close to $19.00 an hour to tell a few stray students where the bathrooms are."
Now I want you to realize I take my job seriously. In fact I don't merely tell them where the bathroom is; I make it sound like an adventure. If they want to stay on the main floor of the library they need to go out the gates, out the doors, and into the dark corner. Truly it is a dark corner. I personally gave up going to that bathroom because of the darkness. I'm sure you guys remember "Charlie in the woodwork". I know I've told some of you about Charlie. I digress.
When I ponder all the things I've done over the last 14 years as a librarian with a masters degree I'm amazed. I've learned that toothpaste is darn near impossible to get off mirrors. I've wiped poop off stools; watered plants that meant something to by supervisors; I've directed people to bathrooms; I've listened to genealogists tell me about their pedigrees feigning interest as not to anger them (believe me folks some of them are easily offended); cleaned up used condoms; dealt with disturbed people who thought there were people after them; I've been stalked; romanced; called profane names; dealt with bomb threats; tried evacuating a library when a light fixture was smoking. Who thought libraries were boring places? Of course I left off my all time favorite... about the dude who whipped out his little buddy for a nice massage. God how I wish could have thought of the following reply, "Why don't you put that thing away before it goes off?" Really I think that was perfect.
Now I'm an academic librarian and things aren't quite as interesting here. Although I seem to still get the large portion of weirdos. This week I got a call from some woman in Texas who wanted me to tell her how to get a card indicating her children have Native American blood. She told me this sad tell of woe. She's disabled and her computer is on the blink. And she really, really needs these cards by August 2008! Boy I really wanted to tell her that that probably wasn't going to happen. In fact I bet she'll be lucky to get them by August 2009. Of course as though I needed to round out the week some young man took a fancy to me. Due to the ear plugs I don't think he realized just how loud he was when he was trying to catch my attention everytime I walked past him. You gotta love being a librarian.
Now I want you to realize I take my job seriously. In fact I don't merely tell them where the bathroom is; I make it sound like an adventure. If they want to stay on the main floor of the library they need to go out the gates, out the doors, and into the dark corner. Truly it is a dark corner. I personally gave up going to that bathroom because of the darkness. I'm sure you guys remember "Charlie in the woodwork". I know I've told some of you about Charlie. I digress.
When I ponder all the things I've done over the last 14 years as a librarian with a masters degree I'm amazed. I've learned that toothpaste is darn near impossible to get off mirrors. I've wiped poop off stools; watered plants that meant something to by supervisors; I've directed people to bathrooms; I've listened to genealogists tell me about their pedigrees feigning interest as not to anger them (believe me folks some of them are easily offended); cleaned up used condoms; dealt with disturbed people who thought there were people after them; I've been stalked; romanced; called profane names; dealt with bomb threats; tried evacuating a library when a light fixture was smoking. Who thought libraries were boring places? Of course I left off my all time favorite... about the dude who whipped out his little buddy for a nice massage. God how I wish could have thought of the following reply, "Why don't you put that thing away before it goes off?" Really I think that was perfect.
Now I'm an academic librarian and things aren't quite as interesting here. Although I seem to still get the large portion of weirdos. This week I got a call from some woman in Texas who wanted me to tell her how to get a card indicating her children have Native American blood. She told me this sad tell of woe. She's disabled and her computer is on the blink. And she really, really needs these cards by August 2008! Boy I really wanted to tell her that that probably wasn't going to happen. In fact I bet she'll be lucky to get them by August 2009. Of course as though I needed to round out the week some young man took a fancy to me. Due to the ear plugs I don't think he realized just how loud he was when he was trying to catch my attention everytime I walked past him. You gotta love being a librarian.
Monday, June 23, 2008
The weekend
Last Thursday was PF's birthday. Since I work evenings now we did nothing to mark it. I'm not sure I would have even wished PF happy birthday if ST hadn't made a big production of wishing him a happy birthday that morning. I simply had forgotten.
But in truth I hadn't really forgotten. PF's birthday present was a weekend long contra dance. He was so happy this weekend. PF got to party, party, party. I hired a girl I know to babysit our kids on Friday and Saturday. My brother took MI to the lake with his family. It was a really nice weekend.
Last night was nice for me. PF took the DQ and ST to the party after the parties. I stayed home and slept. I also wanted to wait for MI to come home. I didn't know when my brother was coming home. I really thought someone needed to be there for her. As it turned out I was correct. MI was part of a very eventful trip. My brother and his family and my sister and her family went down to the lake. My sister on Friday night had a car accident. A car ran a red light and hit her. Unfortunately these dudes were not the nicest people in the world. They tried intimidating her. At one point they blocked her off from her car. The 911 dispatcher kept telling her to get in the car. When the police showed up there were 4 cars. These creeps continued to harass her even with the police there. Finally a cop told them to step away from the area. The cop also told her not to move from his side. The creep driving did not have insurance. The other creep kept telling her that he would vouch for the uninsured creep. Not the best reference in the world. So after that mess gets cleaned up she moves on to my brother's house. They had to move all the stuff from my sister's car because her car was over heating.
When they get down to the lake my brother collapses. He apparently does this on a regular basis. He's all weak and shaky, and he only wants my s-i-l to take care of him. There he had his huge (tall and burly) son-in-law who could have carried him to bed but instead he insisted on my 5 foot sister-in-law to drag him to bed. She told me that it apparently has something to do with his blood sugar level because he gets better after eating chocalate. I wish he would get it looked into. I mean diabetes runs in the family. Anyway, with all of this going on MI didn't get to bed until 12:30AM.
On Saturday they find out that my brother took things off the boat that shouldn't have been taken off. He also couldn't remember where he had put things. So they had to drive into the nearest town 30 minutes away to get the parts. Then they got the boat stuck in the boat house. My brother lost his glasses when he jumped in to find out what was going on.
Needless to say they didn't get the boat out until Sunday. MI got to go swimming in the lake when they pulled into a nice cove. MI kept telling me that she caught all these fish but that Poppa (what she calls my sister's husband) kept letting them go. I'm pretty sure she had fun.
But in truth I hadn't really forgotten. PF's birthday present was a weekend long contra dance. He was so happy this weekend. PF got to party, party, party. I hired a girl I know to babysit our kids on Friday and Saturday. My brother took MI to the lake with his family. It was a really nice weekend.
Last night was nice for me. PF took the DQ and ST to the party after the parties. I stayed home and slept. I also wanted to wait for MI to come home. I didn't know when my brother was coming home. I really thought someone needed to be there for her. As it turned out I was correct. MI was part of a very eventful trip. My brother and his family and my sister and her family went down to the lake. My sister on Friday night had a car accident. A car ran a red light and hit her. Unfortunately these dudes were not the nicest people in the world. They tried intimidating her. At one point they blocked her off from her car. The 911 dispatcher kept telling her to get in the car. When the police showed up there were 4 cars. These creeps continued to harass her even with the police there. Finally a cop told them to step away from the area. The cop also told her not to move from his side. The creep driving did not have insurance. The other creep kept telling her that he would vouch for the uninsured creep. Not the best reference in the world. So after that mess gets cleaned up she moves on to my brother's house. They had to move all the stuff from my sister's car because her car was over heating.
When they get down to the lake my brother collapses. He apparently does this on a regular basis. He's all weak and shaky, and he only wants my s-i-l to take care of him. There he had his huge (tall and burly) son-in-law who could have carried him to bed but instead he insisted on my 5 foot sister-in-law to drag him to bed. She told me that it apparently has something to do with his blood sugar level because he gets better after eating chocalate. I wish he would get it looked into. I mean diabetes runs in the family. Anyway, with all of this going on MI didn't get to bed until 12:30AM.
On Saturday they find out that my brother took things off the boat that shouldn't have been taken off. He also couldn't remember where he had put things. So they had to drive into the nearest town 30 minutes away to get the parts. Then they got the boat stuck in the boat house. My brother lost his glasses when he jumped in to find out what was going on.
Needless to say they didn't get the boat out until Sunday. MI got to go swimming in the lake when they pulled into a nice cove. MI kept telling me that she caught all these fish but that Poppa (what she calls my sister's husband) kept letting them go. I'm pretty sure she had fun.
Monday, June 09, 2008
A Rainy Summer Day
Today it rained. It rained. And it rained.
It wasn't simple rain. There were intermittent thunderstorms. So how do you explain to children that no it's not okay to go to the pool during a thunderstorm. Or how about it's not a good idea to have your father's computer on during a thunderstorm.
So my day was spent washing clothes; I read a book; I tried to encourage the children to read; I played a couple of games of Clue.
The kids were bored. Although MI loved the fact that she could watch movies all morning and early afternoon long.
Don't think rain is going to be much of an issue this summer. I think this is going to be one of those dry, humid summers that is going to kill me.
It wasn't simple rain. There were intermittent thunderstorms. So how do you explain to children that no it's not okay to go to the pool during a thunderstorm. Or how about it's not a good idea to have your father's computer on during a thunderstorm.
So my day was spent washing clothes; I read a book; I tried to encourage the children to read; I played a couple of games of Clue.
The kids were bored. Although MI loved the fact that she could watch movies all morning and early afternoon long.
Don't think rain is going to be much of an issue this summer. I think this is going to be one of those dry, humid summers that is going to kill me.
Thursday, June 05, 2008
My fear
I have a deep fear of being alone.
I've never been on my own. I went from my parents house to my husbands house. I've never been tested and tried.
I guess the companion fear is "How well will I deal with being on my own?"
We have a book at our library that I purchased at the request of an adjunct. It's called, Suddenly single mom by T.J. Terry. I glanced through it when it came in to be cataloged and thought there was a lot of good information and wisdom. I think it's important to remember that this book exists, and being an academic library it isn't likely that the book will be weeded anytime.
Adj. Queen. Girl. Everyone is afraid of roaches. They are plain nasty creatures. As far as someone making you eat one... I think you've watched too much TV!
Think about it. Roaches will probably survive a nuclear holocaust. Okay. They'll mostly like come out of it "bigger and better" for it, too. ;-)
I've never been on my own. I went from my parents house to my husbands house. I've never been tested and tried.
I guess the companion fear is "How well will I deal with being on my own?"
We have a book at our library that I purchased at the request of an adjunct. It's called, Suddenly single mom by T.J. Terry. I glanced through it when it came in to be cataloged and thought there was a lot of good information and wisdom. I think it's important to remember that this book exists, and being an academic library it isn't likely that the book will be weeded anytime.
Adj. Queen. Girl. Everyone is afraid of roaches. They are plain nasty creatures. As far as someone making you eat one... I think you've watched too much TV!
Think about it. Roaches will probably survive a nuclear holocaust. Okay. They'll mostly like come out of it "bigger and better" for it, too. ;-)
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
Fear factor
What do you fear?
I wonder how many people will answer this question. I'll share mine if you share yours.
I wonder how many people will answer this question. I'll share mine if you share yours.
Monday, June 02, 2008
I'm worth more and I'm not going to settle... EVER!
Of late I've been searching for myself. Oh, I don't mean it in a cliched way. I mean lately I've been seriously asking myself questions about my life. I've admitted to myself what my main problem in life is. I don't care to share that bit of information but it is something that defines who I am, and why I do the things that I do.
Because of this epiphany in my life I need to think about my life right now. I am happily married but I see where I really haven't lived my own life. I've lived a very sheltered life. I've never been on my own. In fact if I were suddenly to become single today I would still not be alone. I have my children.
Yesterday, I went to a family event that incorporated several different families (not all directly related to me). A woman who is related to my brother that I happened to go to high school with was at the party. This woman has gone through at least 2 marriages. (I think it's more but can't remember.) Between marriages she's dated men. I hate to say this so that probably means I shouldn't say it but damn I'm left with no outlet then. So here goes. These men that populate her life are not very interesting, smart, attractive or employed. Which amazes me since she is smart, attractive and interesting and employed. After meeting the new flame in her life I had to fight urges of pulling her aside and telling her I could introduce her to men that not only are intelligent they look good too. Okay. So now you know how very shallow I am. But really I'm not that much into looks. I mean I like my men smart. This guy she had with her yesterday looked like someone who would be interviewed by the media after a catastrophic event for our area. Those of you living in the South, and other areas considered back water by the rest of the country know what I mean. The media looks for those individuals who look like they are complete idiots (usually missing a couple of teeth).
So here's my real thought. After considering these men that this woman dates and sometimes end up marrying, and thinking of someone else who recently found herself widowed, and the man she ended up married to a few short months after her husband death I'm really wondering about the world out there. If I were to end up single would all I have to choose from would be dorks? If so I think that I am really grateful for my children.
Considering what I've been typing here I bet you all think that I'm being very morbid here. I'm not worried about PF dying on me. I'm just thinking about some very practical things here like... I don't want to marry again. That would not be in my financial interest. Nor do I believe it would be in the interest of my kids. However, I don't think I would rule out having a relationship with someone. But I would be very particular about that person. It definitely would be someone who had a brain in his head. He would have to believe in evolution. He would have to dance (and I don't mean gyrating to what's on the radio). He would have to have spirituality. He would have to be compassionate. He would have to have a job (something more than the local MickeyD's) In essence he would have to be a lot like my very own PF.
What makes these women turn to these men? I don't know. All I know is I am definitely not going out with the village idiot just to be going out. I am worth far more than that. If that means I never have a date then so be it. Why do I right this? So that I can come back to it if I ever need to. I want to be able to help myself out later. Maybe if these women had thought ahead to all the possibilities out there they won't settle either.
Because of this epiphany in my life I need to think about my life right now. I am happily married but I see where I really haven't lived my own life. I've lived a very sheltered life. I've never been on my own. In fact if I were suddenly to become single today I would still not be alone. I have my children.
Yesterday, I went to a family event that incorporated several different families (not all directly related to me). A woman who is related to my brother that I happened to go to high school with was at the party. This woman has gone through at least 2 marriages. (I think it's more but can't remember.) Between marriages she's dated men. I hate to say this so that probably means I shouldn't say it but damn I'm left with no outlet then. So here goes. These men that populate her life are not very interesting, smart, attractive or employed. Which amazes me since she is smart, attractive and interesting and employed. After meeting the new flame in her life I had to fight urges of pulling her aside and telling her I could introduce her to men that not only are intelligent they look good too. Okay. So now you know how very shallow I am. But really I'm not that much into looks. I mean I like my men smart. This guy she had with her yesterday looked like someone who would be interviewed by the media after a catastrophic event for our area. Those of you living in the South, and other areas considered back water by the rest of the country know what I mean. The media looks for those individuals who look like they are complete idiots (usually missing a couple of teeth).
So here's my real thought. After considering these men that this woman dates and sometimes end up marrying, and thinking of someone else who recently found herself widowed, and the man she ended up married to a few short months after her husband death I'm really wondering about the world out there. If I were to end up single would all I have to choose from would be dorks? If so I think that I am really grateful for my children.
Considering what I've been typing here I bet you all think that I'm being very morbid here. I'm not worried about PF dying on me. I'm just thinking about some very practical things here like... I don't want to marry again. That would not be in my financial interest. Nor do I believe it would be in the interest of my kids. However, I don't think I would rule out having a relationship with someone. But I would be very particular about that person. It definitely would be someone who had a brain in his head. He would have to believe in evolution. He would have to dance (and I don't mean gyrating to what's on the radio). He would have to have spirituality. He would have to be compassionate. He would have to have a job (something more than the local MickeyD's) In essence he would have to be a lot like my very own PF.
What makes these women turn to these men? I don't know. All I know is I am definitely not going out with the village idiot just to be going out. I am worth far more than that. If that means I never have a date then so be it. Why do I right this? So that I can come back to it if I ever need to. I want to be able to help myself out later. Maybe if these women had thought ahead to all the possibilities out there they won't settle either.
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