Things I regret

A couple of weekends ago I was driving DQ around. We listened to a local Country station. A guy came on, and his whole song was about regrets. He didn't use that word but that's what he meant. So I took that as a teaching moment. I explained to DQ that that guy was experiencing regret and what an aweful thing that is.

Well DQ asked me if there was anything I regret. I had to think very hard. Overall I'm pretty happy with my life and the way I've lived it. I haven't killed anyone. I haven't done drugs. Oh I've had my fun but it was all good, clean fun. So this got me to thinking.

When I was a Senior Girl Scout I had my Gold Award earned in that I had all the badges and other peliminary stuff done. The only things I lacked were documenting my work and doing the project. The council even offered me extra time. I turned it down because I didn't think that that was fair to the other girls who did all their work in the time allotted for the award. I remember how my mother nagged me. She kept saying over and over-- "You're going to regret this some day."

Now I'm 38 years old. I have a satisfying career. I'm a mother and a wife. My husband love me. My children love me. And never once in the last twenty years have I regretted not getting the Gold Award.

No. What I regret is that I didn't have the guts to audtion for the Oklahoma Arts Institute, Quartz Mountain the first year I was eligible. I regret this so much. So much so, that I think I might turn into that stage mother that some have accused me of being and nag, and push my daughters to try out as soon as they are eligble. I envision locking them in their rooms the night before the audition and waking them in the morning. Filling their stomachs with good protein packed food. Whisking them out the door and dragging them into the studio to audition for this prestigious summer camp.

So there is my secret-- I regret that I didn't audition until the very last year I was eligible. It isn't all that shocking of a regret. I don't need to bow my head in shame. Nor do I need to worry about my enemies finding this out and using it against me. Oh! Are you wondering how the audtion went? Guess!... I didn't get chosen for the OAI. I made a horrible mess of the audition.