The Morphing Mom

Tuesday my children's school celebrated Grandparents Day. Passionfruit calls it a contrived holiday by Hallmark; however, if you follow the link you will see that Grandparents Day got started by the very state Passionfruit lived in for several years-- West Virginia. But this is besides the point, it's what happened at the school.

Everyone must know by now that I simply can't stand gushing mothers who think their child is the most talented, wonderful thing God created. You all know of at least 2 women who fit this description. They tend to squeal a lot. They tend to be groomed to immaculate Barbie images. They probably only went to college to find a rich (or potentially rich) hubby to support their superficial hobbies (themselves!).

Well I hate to report that I morphed into one of these chicks sans the grooming. It all started when we were finally able to get into the cafeteria. ST led me into there to get herself some cookies. To get to the table you had to pass the wall with these really nice portraits displayed. ST pointed out that one of those was hers. I said, "Oh really? Which one?" She ran up to this really nice drawing with a nice color wash. "That's yours?" She pointed out where she signed her name. Another mother with her children were standing near it. She said that it was good, and she asked ST whether it was her mommy. I saw little ST's face. Now she's worried because she doesn't want to hurt my feelings. I pipe up with, "NO. It looks like the Mona Lisa, to me." ST breaks into a huge smile, and replies, "Yes, that's who it is."

Now I'm totally floored because I study all the other pictures. They look like 6 year olds drew them but ST's looks more like 12 or 13 year old drawing. I'm dazed, and amazed. I do want to point out that one of them looks like a Picasso study of the Mona Lisa which is pretty cool but still pretty immature looking.

Here, is where I must tell on myself. At this point I turn around and find the art teacher not too far away. I walk up to her and ask her, "Is it just me? or is my daughter really talented?" BING! I have now morphed into that kind of MOM. I mean what is the teacher going to say, "No, Mrs. T. your daughter sucks big time."? I can't believe I put the teacher in such an awkward position. She was nice and charming and told me "Yes, she is and I push her to do more than the other children." Maybe it's true but I feel like a heel for morphing. So, yes Adj. Queen, I'm that lone parent clapping maniacally for my special pumpkin.

Tender mercies

Well I find myself at work today. I did it on purpose. I didn't have to work. Someone else had already volunteered. But I wanted Passionfruit to spend time with our children. So to work I went.

Yesterday Passionfruit came home with the beginnings of the dreaded summer cold. I started to feel bad about this passive aggressive manuever. My poor sweet wasn't feeling well, and I was abandoning him to the tender mercies of our children.

I was out of work for 2 days. I didn't realize at the time that another co-worker would be out, too. So while I was here working I found her work to and did it. That way Monday will not be so horrible on her, and it gave me some more work to do.

I haven't received any phone calls from Passionfruit, so I'm assuming that all is well. I guess I'll find out how it went when I get back home. I have to confess that I don't believe that my drive home will be straight there. NO. I think a trip to Braum's is calling me. I haven't had any decadent sunades in a while.

Out of the mouth's of babes

Miss Independence has struck again! Sunday we had a large family gathering to celebrate a couple of birthdays. This is an important ritual and no one is allowed to beg off. I know... I've tried!

Anyway near the end of the evening my niece who is pregnant got up to leave because she was tired. This prompted MI to jump off the lap she had been sitting on for several minutes and announce in a loud voice that "Babies come from your privates." This pronouncement sent several adults into fits of giggles.

Then as though MI wasn't pleased with the response of the embarassed adults. MI runs to her cousin and starts stroking her swollen belly. This is a belly where the belly button has started to "pop". I made the mistake of telling MI that that wasn't my niece's privates.

Now for the final embarrassing situation. MI reaches down and grabs my niece's privates. My niece's husband, young man that he is, had already turned red with the early episode now he was a brillant red. I just put down my head and shook it.

When will I learn to keep my mouth shut? Passionfruit wanted me to chronicle this event. I had the hardest time wanting to put this down. Yes. It is amusing but I'm also slightly embarassed by the impulsiveness of my child.

My weekend

One would think that being stuck in a house with three little girls for the whole weekend would have driven me bonkers. Well it didn't. In fact, it was one of my best weekends in recent times.

I know that some family members found me rather dull when I was a stay-at-home mom. I think Passionfruit thought I was a bore. However, I would have to say that I really did enjoy being a professional mommy. I loved being able to run around doing what I wanted to do most of the time. Yes. I was a mother centered on my children. They were my world and my companions. Yes. There were times when I was lonely and bored. But overall I had fun with them.

But this weekend was a return to what it was like with the kids on a full-time bases. I allowed them to crawl all over me. I allowed them to jump on me. We played games. We read books. They made hot chocolate for themselves. I did the laundry. We baked pies. My house is a wreck but we had a good time together.

Now I have to admit that I can not say that I would have had such a good time if Passionfruit hadn't been here to spell me at times. I actually got to go to the bathroom alone a few times. This weekend should be remembered by all as a good weekend... a good memory. I'm glad we had this time together.

When I reflect on being a working mother I realize that I won't be "loyal" to the outside work. I want to be loyal to my children. I want to be involved with them. It was this weekend that I found out that DQ is teased at school for being Chinese. What can one say? It hurts to be teased but I told her that children always tease others for their differences. I asked her to think about all the kids in her school. I asked her whether all the children are a like? Their not. So I asked her whether she thought everyone of the students has been teased at one time or another. DQ didn't seem too upset after that.

There is a book at my library that is relatively new. The title is More than just a mother. I find this title offensive. I never stopped to look at it because I bristle everytime I look at it. Being a mother is one of the most difficult jobs a woman could ever take on in her life. Her charges are the most critical of her and are the ones that love her. I cherish my children. They are my life in the most profound way. I think the title should be More than just a woman. Any female born can be a woman but not all women can be a mother. I have a friend that I share the challenges of mothering. We often discuss our fears. Fears of whether we are mothering well. We fear that we are hurting our children. At that particular lunch we realized that those that do abuse children don't really worry about hurting their children. Yes, my friend, parenting is one of the most difficult, challenging, exhausting roles we live but I think we are doing the best we can. And I think our best is above average. Our Christian life is challenged by our children but think what our role model puts up with for thousands of years. Errant children frustrate God, don't you think? One can almost look at the New Testament as God looking for a positive way to deal with his challenging offspring. Think about it. The New Testament is all positive and loving but I don't think it is one hundred percent effective in getting God's children to follow Him. So God still finds us a challenge but I think he takes a lot of time outs.

I want to end with this thought: I am a mother. I am a human. I have failings. But everyday I try very hard to start the day a new. Work at one point made me loose my focus. I work to keep my focus on what is important... my children. I refuse to apologize for being mother focused. I am a mother. Accept me for who I am. I am not just a woman. I am a mother.