Showers

This is a big weekend for my family. A wedding. A baby shower for 3. A shower for me at work.

This morning my co-workers gathered with me to celebrate the future life of a child. They had a nice cake for me. They pooled their money together and gave me an extremely generous gift card to Target.

I have to say I am quite humbled by their kindness and generosity. Times are tough and they gave so much. Really, I appreciate these people so much.

Saturday my nephew will marry his girlfriend. And on Sunday they will attend a baby shower for their future daughter. This shower on Sunday is for my niece (my nephew's sister and me). What's really funny is the shower will be held at a cemetery. This business recently built a room that they use as a community room. I've never been there but apparently it's a lovely room. Some people seem a bit hesitant about the venue but to me it makes prefect sense. Why not have a baby shower celebrating life held at place that marks/celebrates the passing of life? Isn't it all connected? The beginning and the end? A completed circle?

My priest talks about 2 of the most holiest events of life. The birth of a child and the passing of a person. Each event is where God is closest to us. I've given birth twice and I know that I spent a lot of my labor in prayer. Prayer. Not because I was scared, in pain or in distressed but because it seemed like the right thing to do. I spend so much time after the birth being amazed at the way God works. God provides an organ that I don't have until a fertilized egg nests in the lining of my uterus. To me that is a miracle. This organ then nurtures my baby for 9 months. It provides air, food and eliminates the waste products of this new life. Amazing. Truly amazing.

Then I've nurse my children for 2 years. Nursing for me is an extremely spiritual experience. Again God's work at work. My body creating nourishment for my child. I don't do anything but make sure I eat well and drink lots of water. My body does everything on it's own. I'm participating in the life cycle in a way that is totally awesome. So as you can see I find caring for a small infant a profoundly spiritual experience. This is my very personal experience.

Week 36 or 39

Well it's been a whole month since I've posted. But I wanted people to know that I am doing so much better than the early months of pregnancy. I have a really great therapist who is working with me.

So here's what's up. I've decided to go with my EDD (estimated date of delivery) and not the doctor's. I am so ready to have this baby. I am having difficulty breathing. And sleeping is difficult too. Okay. Sleeping is going to be difficult when the baby is here, too. It's just that I'm not going to be as big as a house after the baby comes.

Yesterday I did some research on inducing labor naturally. Oh! I suppose I need to tell you that this baby will be born in March. If she doesn't come on her own then the doc. will induce on March 31st. My s-i-l is upset. She wants it to me the 30th which is her birthday. I'm sticking with the 31st because one of my best friend's birthday is the 31st.

I tried to fight for a later induction date but the doctor told me in no uncertain terms that that would not happen this time because of my advanced maternal age and the asthma. So I continued to negotiate with the doc and told her I wanted to do this as naturally as possible. At that time I wanted her to break my water and let me do nipple stimulation but after yesterday's research I'm not really happy with that possibility either. Apparently all I'm doing is naturally causing oxytocin to spike which leads to intense, long labor pains. After reading that I was like NO WAY. So I figure there had to be a better way naturally. Of course sexual intercourse rates high up there; walking; riding on bumpy roads; drinking castor oil. Sex isn't very high on my list of things to do. In fact I haven't had sex for a very long time. Because of my age and prior pregnancies things just didn't feel good for me or PF. Apparently internal organs sag with age and pregnancy, too. I already ride on bumpy roads. Walking cool but the breathing makes it difficult.

Now that I've shared entirely too much information I'm going to share something that I've found yesterday that I think is pretty intriguing. Accupressure. What I found in researching it yesterday was pretty encouraging. First of all, it works only if your cervix is ready. It can help ready your cervix, too. So in other words you're not putting yourself or your baby at risk by doing this. It is not invasive or uses chemicals. It also helps in controlling labor pain if you use it during the labor itself. Testimonials attested pretty consistently that labor started for most within a 24 hour or less period. Not all of these testimonials were associated with the author's website.

So I bet you think I ran off and ordered the book? Right? Wrong! I'm such a cheapskate. I don't want to spend 30 bucks on a book. So I've been trying to think how I can purchase this item for my library or get the public library to purchase it. But here's the rub the book comes in PDF. This then leads me to all kinds of questions. How many libraries are purchasing and cataloging PDF books? Are the publishers of PDF books willing/accepting of books to be loaned from libraries? I know there is some vagueness in the world about Kindles from Amazon. Is it okay to loan Kindles from libraries? How does this affect copyright? Sorry. These are my professional questions.

The more I think about this book the more I think I will end up buying it. Thursday is my next doctor's appointment. It will include an internal exam. So I should know by Thursday evening just how far I am to the real deal. With both of my prior pregnancies I was dilated to 2 cm. 2 weeks before giving before. I won't do anything until I know that the cervix is ready. I figure I won't try to induce myself until March 18th.

Big

I'm in the final monthes of pregnancy. My belly button slowly becomes a protuberance. In the evenings I can feel myself growing and I can feel my navel unravel. I am larger than any of my prior pregnancies. I can actually touch you (with my belly) without getting in your space.

I waddle like a duck when I walk, especially when I'm just getting up and getting started in walking. My inner thighs at these moments feel like I've been riding a horse for the first time for many, many miles.

When I was pregnant before I remember meeting up with women who wanted it to be all over and done with, NOW. I never understood them. But now I'm one of those women. I'm hoping the baby will come early. I'm hoping the baby is actually just small and the doctor's got the wrong date.

Actually I have 2 fears associated with going into labor early. That is I figure it will happen (if it's going to happen) on either March 12 (MI has an appointment with a doctor that lasts all day long) or March 29 (My sister, "I don't get mad; I get even" is unavailable to help that day.) So those are my worries and my reasons for those worries.

Of course I have plenty of other worries but I won't bore you all with those. Tomorrow will be 29 weeks, which means I only have 11 weeks left. The numbers for what's left are finally getting smaller. Every night I walk into my room and look at the corner I've chosen to put the crib in and think I better clear that space out. I don't. The bed is always more inviting. Sleep is such a strange state for me these days. I spend a lot of time being tired. I can easily fall asleep when I go to bed but then 4AM strikes and I'm up. I had had this theory that perhaps if I stayed awake later then I could sleep without awaking. I've tried this over the past couple of nights and it's not working. In fact I've been getting up earlier. 2AM strikes. I remember the insommnia with MI's pregnancy but it wasn't accompanied with the anxiety. So to night I'm going to bed early. One day I'll get to the corner and clear it out. I keep telling myself I'll get to the things I need to do.

A short something...

I am at work after a very, very long holiday break. Okay. Maybe it wasn't all that long than other years it just felt that way.

I am grateful to have a job to go today. I know many do not. My two younger children have driven me crazy the last couple of days. But I'm not going to dwell on the negative.

I hope everyone has a wonderful, happy New Year.

What I'm tired about

I am tired of people who feel inconvienced by the way things are. Buck up you bunch of whiny, sniveling idiots. I mean. I had to walk over to the main building to get the stupid schedule-- Why would it be too difficult for you? You certainly don't look 6 months pregnant. Plus you're in the freaking military. Like inconvience is a new concept to you? Good lord! What do you do on TDY's? Do walk around sniveling about being away from your home and family?

Really from the first day of the semester you haven't impressed me. In fact I've worried about our defenses if you are representative of our military. I mean you show up to school without our stupid schedule and then expect me to know where in the world you are suppose to go. Now you get peeved at me because I won't let you take my class schedule for next semester. You really grate on my nerves.

This hasn't been a good day. It did start out good but it went down hill reall fast. First MI throws a fit because her daddy has to take her to school. Then ST won't get dressed. Despite my attempts to get things pulled together the night before the girls were still late for school. Oh well. Guess I should be glad they had their backpacks.

I do wonder whether when I'm old and feeble whether these beautiful children of mine will take care of me. Often I think I'll just be sitting in my own waste rotting away.

As if the first part of the day wasn't miserable enough I'm sitting here at work fighting queasiness. I had to race to the bathroom with my ever ready trash can. Two pregnancy and deliveries have left me with a less than desirable situation when it comes to being sick. So I'm not having a good day. And to all those damn motivational speakers who talk about you choose what kind of day your having or better you can always start your day over-- NOT WHEN YOU ARE 6 MONTHS PREGNANT WITH 3 CHILDREN UNDER THE AGE OF 9 YEARS!

I've been trying to keep my angst from my public life. But today I'm so tired and the feelings of anxiety and depression are too strong, I need to express them.

First I am so frustrated by MI. It looks like she is going to repeat Kindergarten. MI is determined not to learn to read. I know she knows her alphabet but she doesn't produce work that indicates that knowledge. I know she knows the sounds that are represented by those letters but she refuses to produce work that shows that knowledge. I know that there are simple words that she knows but when quizzed she refuses to cooperate.

What can I do about a child who won't work? I lie awake a night worrying about her future. What's to become of her? Why won't she cooperate at school? Why won't she cooperate at home?

Then that really gets everything churning. Everything seems so hopeless. Nothing is in my control. I can't even seem to control my own feelings. God. I've never cried so much in my life. In fact this seems to rate right up there with the OKC boot camp for librarians.

So I don't know what I'm going to do. Guess I just keep on crying.

If you want to see...

If you want to see my attitude scroll down. I've added a new pic. It's me. Without a doubt.

On the big screen

Yesterday, I went for a Down syndrome and spina bifida screening. This is a non-invasive procedure. Essentially it's 2 blood tests spaced through out the early stages of pregnancy and 2 ultrasounds. Oh I forgot to mention I had a genetic work up, too. Nothing much in that to indicate any strong possibilities for problems.

I won't know anything about the blood work until next week. The ultrasound was quite an experience. They had a huge flat screen TV on the wall. I think it was like 5'x 4' screen. The baby was a busy one at the moment we were peeking in at it. It jumped and jerked. It's little hands were flaying away. We got some good pictures of a fist and a foot. The profile is beautiful. Okay Adj. Queen, this one's for you, it appears that this child will be a girl, also. But remember it is still very early in the pregnancy so it could change but I'm pretty sure it's a girl.

Both the tech. and the doc would chuckle at the antics of the baby. They had a hard time getting the baby into position so they could get the reading they needed. The tech would bounce her instrument up and down on my belly trying to persuade the baby to turn over. After a while they did manage to get the readings they needed. At this point in time there doesn't seem to be any physical problems that they can see. So I go back in Oct. for a blood test, and Nov. will be the second ultra sound.

I looked at the first ultrasound and marveled at the distinct changes in the baby. The baby is now a fetus while before it was an embryo. How she's grown! She no longer looks like a kidney bean. Now she has a head with a tiny nose. Her arms has hands and fingers. Her feet are tiny miniatures of feet. It all looked so prefect. It was a profound moment for me. Somehow seeing the baby on such a big screen made it all so very real.

PS
Adj. Queen are you sure SO isn't daylighting as a ob. doc.?

Tears

Well folks-- I'm totally absorbed in myself and this pregnancy. So here's the latest development-- I just spent 5 minutes crying over this video. Something that had no intention to bring tears to ones eyes had tears streaming from mine. Now I know I'm pregnant. I'm so screwed up. I don't remember being quite this emotional with my other pregnancies. The weirdest things set me off. I'm glad I'm in my own office because I can weep silently without my co-workers knowing.

In fact the only thing they've noticed is I'm quieter. So maybe that's a blessing for them. I don't know. You'll have to ask them.

Last night I worked in the evening. I had a class to teach, too. This was one of the best classes I've ever had! I made a mistake in a search and one of the students figured out what I had done wrong! WooHoo! It's so nice to know that they're getting it. This is like my second night class I taught, and I think I would rather teaching an evening class anytime over a day class. One professor said that the evening classes are really better because these are the folks who are working during the day, and they're coming to us because they WANT to be there. They aren't marking time; they are engaged in their education. Essentially they are more motivated. It's fantastic.

So I wonder what else will send tears coursing down my cheeks today? We'll see.

Sick and tired

I was doing so well in the morning sickness business. But last night in the wee hours of the morning I lost my track record. ST came to our room because she had a nightmare. I took her back to her room and was about to lie down with her there when I told her I had to go. I raced back to my room. I was sick but you know what even so I felt better.

Since the late afternoon yesterday I hadn't been feeling so well. PF and I had dinner at an Indian restaurant. The food was good. But I started to feel really bad. I decided that I must have over eaten. I got to bed early.

Now I'm tired, and my tummy still feels queasy. I hope this isn't how it's going to be. I don't know if I can work 30 hours a week feeling queasy. Oh well maybe I'll just take off early today.

For 2

Well if you're interested I have something to share that isn't exactly something that ought to be shared. So you've been forewarn-- if you're squeemish do not read further.

You know how people talk about pregnant women eating for 2? Well I think there is more to it than just that. I'm pretty sure I'm pooping for 2. I've had more bowel movements in the last month or so than I've had most of my life; or, at least, it just seems that way. I don't ever remember this situation with the other 2. I also have to be careful eating leafy greens. That is a true formula for up all night! It sucks too because I like leafy greens.

At this point in time I don't have much more to share, and I know I've shared more than I should but I've been amazed with this development. For those interested I meet with the nurse on Wednesday. I should be able to hear the baby's heart beat. I'm looking forward to that.

THE NEWS

Last Saturday I ran a test on myself. I wasn't sure what I would discover but I knew it was time. Time to have information. Time to have knowledge. It was time.

When I got the results (and I have to confess that the result was rather quick) I was devastated. I felt so sick to my stomach. I couldn't believe this was happening to me.

Then after awhile I started to feel a little excited. Anticipation set in; as did wonder. But still anytime I thought about telling PF I would get so scared. I didn't want to have to deal with his reaction. Last time he didn't handle it very well. In fact it was a time of strife in our marriage. I really thought that he would divorce me.

By know I hope you realize that I am pregnant. In fact tomorrow will be 10 weeks! I didn't want to tell anyone because it was still so early. But around Wednesday this week I couldn't hold it in any longer. I don't plan on telling the children until I'm into my 2nd trimester. DQ is going to be devastated. ST will be ecstatic, and I have no clue how MI will take the news. MI's been asking for a baby brother her age for awhile now. Of course that's not going to happen but I don't know if she'll understand that.

I did tell PF. He's taken it so much better than last time. I mean he isn't moping around, or trying to give himself a heart attack. He is calm and gratious. I told him Saturday night while we watched the Olympics. It just flew out of my mouth. No setting the stage. No romantic talk. I didn't even look at him. Really I don't remember what he said. I think it had something to do with having a lot of things to get done. If there is anything really upsetting him it's the fact that I had those medical procedures done last month. His worried about how that would affect the baby.

Well folks life's a crap shoot. You don't know what you're going to get. But whatever is is. I'm not going to spend my time worrying about what's been done for it cannot be undone. I'm living in the moment. This is God's child and I am nothing but a vessel and an instrument for His work. I love babies. Always have. I'm not too keen on 3 year olds but you know that falls under the future and I'm not going there. My reality is now. This day and what I do today is all I can control and even then not everything is in my control.

I am now very excited about this pregnancy. I am looking forward to meeting this child. My belly is already big. The round ligaments are feeling some strain. I haven't been sick. I have been hungry. Very, very hungry. I eat almost 2 to 3 hours. I also can't eat a whole lot in one sitting or I get sick to my stomache. I'm craving proteins. Cheese, meat, peanut butter (which I don't cave into to protect the baby from too early a nut introduction), and Coke a Cola (which I don't cave into because I don't believe that it would be very good for the baby.) I've stopped taking 2 meds. The other thing about this pregnancy is that I am dizzy. This is different than my other two pregnancies; so when people ask about what I want I just tell them that the pregnancy were not similiar to the other two.

To make this pregnancy even more interesting, my niece is pregnant, too with her second child. I'm a month further than her. So we will have a race to see who will give birth first. I've already got my doula set up. Okay she's not a trained professional but she's always been my doula. It's my sister, I Don't Get Mad/I Get Even. I know she will be there for me, and she won't let the health care professionals try to bully me. I am so grateful to God for a sister like her. She's always, always been there for me. God bless her.

So keep me in your prayers if you pray; if not then keep me in your thoughts. I'm forty years old and pregnant.

Summer vacation

We are back from a rather long family Summer vacation. We headed towards Michigan to visit PF's baby sister. Along the way we stopped to visit with PF's friends that could be found along the way.

First I have to say that this vacation went extremely well. The kids were really well behaved. I also think they had a fun time. What I'm trying to say is that it didn't seem all that stressful as previous vacations we've taken but perhaps that is because the kids are older.

Some highlights to the trip--

We took a ferry from Milwaukee to Muskegeon. The girls had a blast on the trip. DQ didn't want to go originally because, "I get sea sick." She did not get sea sick.

Some activities we participated while in Michigan were a long drive (45 min.)North to Rainbow Ranch for an hour horseback ride. We then went North again and found this little town that survives only on tourism. We did our part in maintaining that economy by going miniature golfing, go-kart driving; bumper boat riding.

I have to say that there was an added bonus to the visit with PF's sister, too. She has a cat who is rather tender hearted. Our girls love cats so they have a hard-time accepting that the cat needs to be left alone. So this time a volunteer cat visited the house of Shutter Bug. (Hope you like the new name. PF's sister is connected to her camera. Odd, now that I think about it PF is rather connected to his cameras, too. Must be a family trait.)

The girls got to name the volunteer kitty. It was an adorable black and white kitty-- black on top-- white underbelly with white paws. Her final name was Cuddles.

We ended the trip by going a different way home and visiting with a college friend of PF's. He lives in St. Louis, Missouri. We went to the St. Louis Zoo. It is free but you have to pay $10 for parking. If you want to go to the children's zoo or do any other fun activities you have to pay extra for them. Once a long time ago while we were visiting St. Louis the zoo advertised a new feature in the children's zoo-- a slide through the river otter exhibit. So we bought the pass that got us a ride on the train, 3-d movies, motion simulator; and the children's zoo. The kids loved the children's zoo but the weather was so stifling hot that the rest of the adventure was not so much fun. In the evening we had dinner with the college buddy.

The next day we spent swimming in the hotel pool and making plans for the rest of the day. We went to the Mermac Caverns. MI wasn't so independent in these caves. Her little hand stayed in mine the whole time, and I frequently had to coax her to continue with the tour.

Like I said this was a long trip, and we did a lot of things. I really am impressed with our darling girls. Life is good.

Missing my Bunco nights!

I've been very busy with myself lately. This has been my summer for medical tests. I had a colonscopy/endoscopy procedure almost two weeks ago. I also had a HIDA-scan and an ultrasound. To date I haven't learned anything other than I most likely have GERD.

Armed with another prescription drug to take my pain is gone. And I don't wake up with heart burn anymore. Which I didn't really realize I was doing until going on the GERD medicine. Needless to say I'm sleeping much better than I have for a couple of years. I still have a hard time getting to sleep but "Oh well."

I had lunch with Adj. Queen and CraftyMinx. This was the first time I talked with CraftyMinx. I felt totally comfortable with her. I've been reading her blog for a couple of years now. So it wasn't like she was a total stranger.

During this lunch I mentioned that I play Bunko with the neighborhood ladies. They laughed. It was a laugh that sounded kinda incredulous. So I wanted to explain why I play Bunko. I live in a neighborhood with HOA. I don't get to go to the meetings. I get to watch the kids. Really I don't mind that at all. My only probably is that PF goes to the meetings. And let's face it folks. PF is only a man. And pretty oblivious to undercurrents or even overcurrents going on in a room.

Thus I go to the "unofficial" HOA meeting. This is where I learn things about the meeting that I don't get from PF. Last year it was great because the HOA prez was a woman and the HOA secretary/treasurer was a woman. No big deal right? WRONG! Those two went after each other. Two strong personalities colliding. It was great. The gossip was juicy and riveting. Who needs soap operas when you've got an HOA?

Plus it is a totally mindless game of rolling dice. I can play it. I'm not one for games but this one is alright because I can talk and play at the same time. I've even gotten good at scoring and talking at the same time.

Well I haven't been to Bunko in about 3 months. PF was out of town one month and then I started working evenings so I can be with the girls this Summer during the days. I've missed it. I haven't heard the news of the neighborhood. Plus I've been known to win. In fact the last time I played I could have won the majority of prizes. Boy was that a rowdy night. My life was endanger. Preggy Mom down the street talked about running me over afterwards. Or at the very least knocking me over the head to get the goods. I figure it's the pregnancy talking.

This year has been rather sad. We lost one of our regular players. Her husband came home from Iraq and got transferred to Ohio. (She got pregnant shortly afterwards but remained sweet.) Then another woman dropped out because she's going back to school. She's learning to be a sonographer. One of the nice things that happened was one of the ladies' came by my house to find out why I hadn't been. She's a really nifty lady and I enjoy her a lot.

I have another friend that I recently discovered plays Bunko. So I'll have to remind myself to call her when we are going to be down people. I don't really like playing with "ghosts" because you have to think then.

Mid-life Crisis

This is my fortieth year. Truly, it doesn't bother me to be turning the big 4O but I have to admit I've got somethings going on in my head. So I'm going to share with you all my mid-life crisis "project". Here it is in color, I want a trike or maybe this one.

I'm not courageous enough to go for a motorcycle but a trike would be cool. Of course, I doubt that PF would take me seriously. So maybe I will have to wait until the kids are out of the house.

My Career

I'm here at the reference desk. This has been a boring night. So very few people coming to me for my sage advice. I guess if you reframe this thought one might think of it this way, "I get paid close to $19.00 an hour to tell a few stray students where the bathrooms are."

Now I want you to realize I take my job seriously. In fact I don't merely tell them where the bathroom is; I make it sound like an adventure. If they want to stay on the main floor of the library they need to go out the gates, out the doors, and into the dark corner. Truly it is a dark corner. I personally gave up going to that bathroom because of the darkness. I'm sure you guys remember "Charlie in the woodwork". I know I've told some of you about Charlie. I digress.

When I ponder all the things I've done over the last 14 years as a librarian with a masters degree I'm amazed. I've learned that toothpaste is darn near impossible to get off mirrors. I've wiped poop off stools; watered plants that meant something to by supervisors; I've directed people to bathrooms; I've listened to genealogists tell me about their pedigrees feigning interest as not to anger them (believe me folks some of them are easily offended); cleaned up used condoms; dealt with disturbed people who thought there were people after them; I've been stalked; romanced; called profane names; dealt with bomb threats; tried evacuating a library when a light fixture was smoking. Who thought libraries were boring places? Of course I left off my all time favorite... about the dude who whipped out his little buddy for a nice massage. God how I wish could have thought of the following reply, "Why don't you put that thing away before it goes off?" Really I think that was perfect.

Now I'm an academic librarian and things aren't quite as interesting here. Although I seem to still get the large portion of weirdos. This week I got a call from some woman in Texas who wanted me to tell her how to get a card indicating her children have Native American blood. She told me this sad tell of woe. She's disabled and her computer is on the blink. And she really, really needs these cards by August 2008! Boy I really wanted to tell her that that probably wasn't going to happen. In fact I bet she'll be lucky to get them by August 2009. Of course as though I needed to round out the week some young man took a fancy to me. Due to the ear plugs I don't think he realized just how loud he was when he was trying to catch my attention everytime I walked past him. You gotta love being a librarian.

The weekend

Last Thursday was PF's birthday. Since I work evenings now we did nothing to mark it. I'm not sure I would have even wished PF happy birthday if ST hadn't made a big production of wishing him a happy birthday that morning. I simply had forgotten.

But in truth I hadn't really forgotten. PF's birthday present was a weekend long contra dance. He was so happy this weekend. PF got to party, party, party. I hired a girl I know to babysit our kids on Friday and Saturday. My brother took MI to the lake with his family. It was a really nice weekend.

Last night was nice for me. PF took the DQ and ST to the party after the parties. I stayed home and slept. I also wanted to wait for MI to come home. I didn't know when my brother was coming home. I really thought someone needed to be there for her. As it turned out I was correct. MI was part of a very eventful trip. My brother and his family and my sister and her family went down to the lake. My sister on Friday night had a car accident. A car ran a red light and hit her. Unfortunately these dudes were not the nicest people in the world. They tried intimidating her. At one point they blocked her off from her car. The 911 dispatcher kept telling her to get in the car. When the police showed up there were 4 cars. These creeps continued to harass her even with the police there. Finally a cop told them to step away from the area. The cop also told her not to move from his side. The creep driving did not have insurance. The other creep kept telling her that he would vouch for the uninsured creep. Not the best reference in the world. So after that mess gets cleaned up she moves on to my brother's house. They had to move all the stuff from my sister's car because her car was over heating.

When they get down to the lake my brother collapses. He apparently does this on a regular basis. He's all weak and shaky, and he only wants my s-i-l to take care of him. There he had his huge (tall and burly) son-in-law who could have carried him to bed but instead he insisted on my 5 foot sister-in-law to drag him to bed. She told me that it apparently has something to do with his blood sugar level because he gets better after eating chocalate. I wish he would get it looked into. I mean diabetes runs in the family. Anyway, with all of this going on MI didn't get to bed until 12:30AM.

On Saturday they find out that my brother took things off the boat that shouldn't have been taken off. He also couldn't remember where he had put things. So they had to drive into the nearest town 30 minutes away to get the parts. Then they got the boat stuck in the boat house. My brother lost his glasses when he jumped in to find out what was going on.

Needless to say they didn't get the boat out until Sunday. MI got to go swimming in the lake when they pulled into a nice cove. MI kept telling me that she caught all these fish but that Poppa (what she calls my sister's husband) kept letting them go. I'm pretty sure she had fun.

A Rainy Summer Day

Today it rained. It rained. And it rained.

It wasn't simple rain. There were intermittent thunderstorms. So how do you explain to children that no it's not okay to go to the pool during a thunderstorm. Or how about it's not a good idea to have your father's computer on during a thunderstorm.

So my day was spent washing clothes; I read a book; I tried to encourage the children to read; I played a couple of games of Clue.

The kids were bored. Although MI loved the fact that she could watch movies all morning and early afternoon long.

Don't think rain is going to be much of an issue this summer. I think this is going to be one of those dry, humid summers that is going to kill me.

My fear

I have a deep fear of being alone.

I've never been on my own. I went from my parents house to my husbands house. I've never been tested and tried.

I guess the companion fear is "How well will I deal with being on my own?"

We have a book at our library that I purchased at the request of an adjunct. It's called, Suddenly single mom by T.J. Terry. I glanced through it when it came in to be cataloged and thought there was a lot of good information and wisdom. I think it's important to remember that this book exists, and being an academic library it isn't likely that the book will be weeded anytime.

Adj. Queen. Girl. Everyone is afraid of roaches. They are plain nasty creatures. As far as someone making you eat one... I think you've watched too much TV!

Think about it. Roaches will probably survive a nuclear holocaust. Okay. They'll mostly like come out of it "bigger and better" for it, too. ;-)

Fear factor

What do you fear?

I wonder how many people will answer this question. I'll share mine if you share yours.