If you want to see...

If you want to see my attitude scroll down. I've added a new pic. It's me. Without a doubt.

On the big screen

Yesterday, I went for a Down syndrome and spina bifida screening. This is a non-invasive procedure. Essentially it's 2 blood tests spaced through out the early stages of pregnancy and 2 ultrasounds. Oh I forgot to mention I had a genetic work up, too. Nothing much in that to indicate any strong possibilities for problems.

I won't know anything about the blood work until next week. The ultrasound was quite an experience. They had a huge flat screen TV on the wall. I think it was like 5'x 4' screen. The baby was a busy one at the moment we were peeking in at it. It jumped and jerked. It's little hands were flaying away. We got some good pictures of a fist and a foot. The profile is beautiful. Okay Adj. Queen, this one's for you, it appears that this child will be a girl, also. But remember it is still very early in the pregnancy so it could change but I'm pretty sure it's a girl.

Both the tech. and the doc would chuckle at the antics of the baby. They had a hard time getting the baby into position so they could get the reading they needed. The tech would bounce her instrument up and down on my belly trying to persuade the baby to turn over. After a while they did manage to get the readings they needed. At this point in time there doesn't seem to be any physical problems that they can see. So I go back in Oct. for a blood test, and Nov. will be the second ultra sound.

I looked at the first ultrasound and marveled at the distinct changes in the baby. The baby is now a fetus while before it was an embryo. How she's grown! She no longer looks like a kidney bean. Now she has a head with a tiny nose. Her arms has hands and fingers. Her feet are tiny miniatures of feet. It all looked so prefect. It was a profound moment for me. Somehow seeing the baby on such a big screen made it all so very real.

PS
Adj. Queen are you sure SO isn't daylighting as a ob. doc.?

Tears

Well folks-- I'm totally absorbed in myself and this pregnancy. So here's the latest development-- I just spent 5 minutes crying over this video. Something that had no intention to bring tears to ones eyes had tears streaming from mine. Now I know I'm pregnant. I'm so screwed up. I don't remember being quite this emotional with my other pregnancies. The weirdest things set me off. I'm glad I'm in my own office because I can weep silently without my co-workers knowing.

In fact the only thing they've noticed is I'm quieter. So maybe that's a blessing for them. I don't know. You'll have to ask them.

Last night I worked in the evening. I had a class to teach, too. This was one of the best classes I've ever had! I made a mistake in a search and one of the students figured out what I had done wrong! WooHoo! It's so nice to know that they're getting it. This is like my second night class I taught, and I think I would rather teaching an evening class anytime over a day class. One professor said that the evening classes are really better because these are the folks who are working during the day, and they're coming to us because they WANT to be there. They aren't marking time; they are engaged in their education. Essentially they are more motivated. It's fantastic.

So I wonder what else will send tears coursing down my cheeks today? We'll see.

Sick and tired

I was doing so well in the morning sickness business. But last night in the wee hours of the morning I lost my track record. ST came to our room because she had a nightmare. I took her back to her room and was about to lie down with her there when I told her I had to go. I raced back to my room. I was sick but you know what even so I felt better.

Since the late afternoon yesterday I hadn't been feeling so well. PF and I had dinner at an Indian restaurant. The food was good. But I started to feel really bad. I decided that I must have over eaten. I got to bed early.

Now I'm tired, and my tummy still feels queasy. I hope this isn't how it's going to be. I don't know if I can work 30 hours a week feeling queasy. Oh well maybe I'll just take off early today.

For 2

Well if you're interested I have something to share that isn't exactly something that ought to be shared. So you've been forewarn-- if you're squeemish do not read further.

You know how people talk about pregnant women eating for 2? Well I think there is more to it than just that. I'm pretty sure I'm pooping for 2. I've had more bowel movements in the last month or so than I've had most of my life; or, at least, it just seems that way. I don't ever remember this situation with the other 2. I also have to be careful eating leafy greens. That is a true formula for up all night! It sucks too because I like leafy greens.

At this point in time I don't have much more to share, and I know I've shared more than I should but I've been amazed with this development. For those interested I meet with the nurse on Wednesday. I should be able to hear the baby's heart beat. I'm looking forward to that.

THE NEWS

Last Saturday I ran a test on myself. I wasn't sure what I would discover but I knew it was time. Time to have information. Time to have knowledge. It was time.

When I got the results (and I have to confess that the result was rather quick) I was devastated. I felt so sick to my stomach. I couldn't believe this was happening to me.

Then after awhile I started to feel a little excited. Anticipation set in; as did wonder. But still anytime I thought about telling PF I would get so scared. I didn't want to have to deal with his reaction. Last time he didn't handle it very well. In fact it was a time of strife in our marriage. I really thought that he would divorce me.

By know I hope you realize that I am pregnant. In fact tomorrow will be 10 weeks! I didn't want to tell anyone because it was still so early. But around Wednesday this week I couldn't hold it in any longer. I don't plan on telling the children until I'm into my 2nd trimester. DQ is going to be devastated. ST will be ecstatic, and I have no clue how MI will take the news. MI's been asking for a baby brother her age for awhile now. Of course that's not going to happen but I don't know if she'll understand that.

I did tell PF. He's taken it so much better than last time. I mean he isn't moping around, or trying to give himself a heart attack. He is calm and gratious. I told him Saturday night while we watched the Olympics. It just flew out of my mouth. No setting the stage. No romantic talk. I didn't even look at him. Really I don't remember what he said. I think it had something to do with having a lot of things to get done. If there is anything really upsetting him it's the fact that I had those medical procedures done last month. His worried about how that would affect the baby.

Well folks life's a crap shoot. You don't know what you're going to get. But whatever is is. I'm not going to spend my time worrying about what's been done for it cannot be undone. I'm living in the moment. This is God's child and I am nothing but a vessel and an instrument for His work. I love babies. Always have. I'm not too keen on 3 year olds but you know that falls under the future and I'm not going there. My reality is now. This day and what I do today is all I can control and even then not everything is in my control.

I am now very excited about this pregnancy. I am looking forward to meeting this child. My belly is already big. The round ligaments are feeling some strain. I haven't been sick. I have been hungry. Very, very hungry. I eat almost 2 to 3 hours. I also can't eat a whole lot in one sitting or I get sick to my stomache. I'm craving proteins. Cheese, meat, peanut butter (which I don't cave into to protect the baby from too early a nut introduction), and Coke a Cola (which I don't cave into because I don't believe that it would be very good for the baby.) I've stopped taking 2 meds. The other thing about this pregnancy is that I am dizzy. This is different than my other two pregnancies; so when people ask about what I want I just tell them that the pregnancy were not similiar to the other two.

To make this pregnancy even more interesting, my niece is pregnant, too with her second child. I'm a month further than her. So we will have a race to see who will give birth first. I've already got my doula set up. Okay she's not a trained professional but she's always been my doula. It's my sister, I Don't Get Mad/I Get Even. I know she will be there for me, and she won't let the health care professionals try to bully me. I am so grateful to God for a sister like her. She's always, always been there for me. God bless her.

So keep me in your prayers if you pray; if not then keep me in your thoughts. I'm forty years old and pregnant.

Summer vacation

We are back from a rather long family Summer vacation. We headed towards Michigan to visit PF's baby sister. Along the way we stopped to visit with PF's friends that could be found along the way.

First I have to say that this vacation went extremely well. The kids were really well behaved. I also think they had a fun time. What I'm trying to say is that it didn't seem all that stressful as previous vacations we've taken but perhaps that is because the kids are older.

Some highlights to the trip--

We took a ferry from Milwaukee to Muskegeon. The girls had a blast on the trip. DQ didn't want to go originally because, "I get sea sick." She did not get sea sick.

Some activities we participated while in Michigan were a long drive (45 min.)North to Rainbow Ranch for an hour horseback ride. We then went North again and found this little town that survives only on tourism. We did our part in maintaining that economy by going miniature golfing, go-kart driving; bumper boat riding.

I have to say that there was an added bonus to the visit with PF's sister, too. She has a cat who is rather tender hearted. Our girls love cats so they have a hard-time accepting that the cat needs to be left alone. So this time a volunteer cat visited the house of Shutter Bug. (Hope you like the new name. PF's sister is connected to her camera. Odd, now that I think about it PF is rather connected to his cameras, too. Must be a family trait.)

The girls got to name the volunteer kitty. It was an adorable black and white kitty-- black on top-- white underbelly with white paws. Her final name was Cuddles.

We ended the trip by going a different way home and visiting with a college friend of PF's. He lives in St. Louis, Missouri. We went to the St. Louis Zoo. It is free but you have to pay $10 for parking. If you want to go to the children's zoo or do any other fun activities you have to pay extra for them. Once a long time ago while we were visiting St. Louis the zoo advertised a new feature in the children's zoo-- a slide through the river otter exhibit. So we bought the pass that got us a ride on the train, 3-d movies, motion simulator; and the children's zoo. The kids loved the children's zoo but the weather was so stifling hot that the rest of the adventure was not so much fun. In the evening we had dinner with the college buddy.

The next day we spent swimming in the hotel pool and making plans for the rest of the day. We went to the Mermac Caverns. MI wasn't so independent in these caves. Her little hand stayed in mine the whole time, and I frequently had to coax her to continue with the tour.

Like I said this was a long trip, and we did a lot of things. I really am impressed with our darling girls. Life is good.

Missing my Bunco nights!

I've been very busy with myself lately. This has been my summer for medical tests. I had a colonscopy/endoscopy procedure almost two weeks ago. I also had a HIDA-scan and an ultrasound. To date I haven't learned anything other than I most likely have GERD.

Armed with another prescription drug to take my pain is gone. And I don't wake up with heart burn anymore. Which I didn't really realize I was doing until going on the GERD medicine. Needless to say I'm sleeping much better than I have for a couple of years. I still have a hard time getting to sleep but "Oh well."

I had lunch with Adj. Queen and CraftyMinx. This was the first time I talked with CraftyMinx. I felt totally comfortable with her. I've been reading her blog for a couple of years now. So it wasn't like she was a total stranger.

During this lunch I mentioned that I play Bunko with the neighborhood ladies. They laughed. It was a laugh that sounded kinda incredulous. So I wanted to explain why I play Bunko. I live in a neighborhood with HOA. I don't get to go to the meetings. I get to watch the kids. Really I don't mind that at all. My only probably is that PF goes to the meetings. And let's face it folks. PF is only a man. And pretty oblivious to undercurrents or even overcurrents going on in a room.

Thus I go to the "unofficial" HOA meeting. This is where I learn things about the meeting that I don't get from PF. Last year it was great because the HOA prez was a woman and the HOA secretary/treasurer was a woman. No big deal right? WRONG! Those two went after each other. Two strong personalities colliding. It was great. The gossip was juicy and riveting. Who needs soap operas when you've got an HOA?

Plus it is a totally mindless game of rolling dice. I can play it. I'm not one for games but this one is alright because I can talk and play at the same time. I've even gotten good at scoring and talking at the same time.

Well I haven't been to Bunko in about 3 months. PF was out of town one month and then I started working evenings so I can be with the girls this Summer during the days. I've missed it. I haven't heard the news of the neighborhood. Plus I've been known to win. In fact the last time I played I could have won the majority of prizes. Boy was that a rowdy night. My life was endanger. Preggy Mom down the street talked about running me over afterwards. Or at the very least knocking me over the head to get the goods. I figure it's the pregnancy talking.

This year has been rather sad. We lost one of our regular players. Her husband came home from Iraq and got transferred to Ohio. (She got pregnant shortly afterwards but remained sweet.) Then another woman dropped out because she's going back to school. She's learning to be a sonographer. One of the nice things that happened was one of the ladies' came by my house to find out why I hadn't been. She's a really nifty lady and I enjoy her a lot.

I have another friend that I recently discovered plays Bunko. So I'll have to remind myself to call her when we are going to be down people. I don't really like playing with "ghosts" because you have to think then.

Mid-life Crisis

This is my fortieth year. Truly, it doesn't bother me to be turning the big 4O but I have to admit I've got somethings going on in my head. So I'm going to share with you all my mid-life crisis "project". Here it is in color, I want a trike or maybe this one.

I'm not courageous enough to go for a motorcycle but a trike would be cool. Of course, I doubt that PF would take me seriously. So maybe I will have to wait until the kids are out of the house.

My Career

I'm here at the reference desk. This has been a boring night. So very few people coming to me for my sage advice. I guess if you reframe this thought one might think of it this way, "I get paid close to $19.00 an hour to tell a few stray students where the bathrooms are."

Now I want you to realize I take my job seriously. In fact I don't merely tell them where the bathroom is; I make it sound like an adventure. If they want to stay on the main floor of the library they need to go out the gates, out the doors, and into the dark corner. Truly it is a dark corner. I personally gave up going to that bathroom because of the darkness. I'm sure you guys remember "Charlie in the woodwork". I know I've told some of you about Charlie. I digress.

When I ponder all the things I've done over the last 14 years as a librarian with a masters degree I'm amazed. I've learned that toothpaste is darn near impossible to get off mirrors. I've wiped poop off stools; watered plants that meant something to by supervisors; I've directed people to bathrooms; I've listened to genealogists tell me about their pedigrees feigning interest as not to anger them (believe me folks some of them are easily offended); cleaned up used condoms; dealt with disturbed people who thought there were people after them; I've been stalked; romanced; called profane names; dealt with bomb threats; tried evacuating a library when a light fixture was smoking. Who thought libraries were boring places? Of course I left off my all time favorite... about the dude who whipped out his little buddy for a nice massage. God how I wish could have thought of the following reply, "Why don't you put that thing away before it goes off?" Really I think that was perfect.

Now I'm an academic librarian and things aren't quite as interesting here. Although I seem to still get the large portion of weirdos. This week I got a call from some woman in Texas who wanted me to tell her how to get a card indicating her children have Native American blood. She told me this sad tell of woe. She's disabled and her computer is on the blink. And she really, really needs these cards by August 2008! Boy I really wanted to tell her that that probably wasn't going to happen. In fact I bet she'll be lucky to get them by August 2009. Of course as though I needed to round out the week some young man took a fancy to me. Due to the ear plugs I don't think he realized just how loud he was when he was trying to catch my attention everytime I walked past him. You gotta love being a librarian.

The weekend

Last Thursday was PF's birthday. Since I work evenings now we did nothing to mark it. I'm not sure I would have even wished PF happy birthday if ST hadn't made a big production of wishing him a happy birthday that morning. I simply had forgotten.

But in truth I hadn't really forgotten. PF's birthday present was a weekend long contra dance. He was so happy this weekend. PF got to party, party, party. I hired a girl I know to babysit our kids on Friday and Saturday. My brother took MI to the lake with his family. It was a really nice weekend.

Last night was nice for me. PF took the DQ and ST to the party after the parties. I stayed home and slept. I also wanted to wait for MI to come home. I didn't know when my brother was coming home. I really thought someone needed to be there for her. As it turned out I was correct. MI was part of a very eventful trip. My brother and his family and my sister and her family went down to the lake. My sister on Friday night had a car accident. A car ran a red light and hit her. Unfortunately these dudes were not the nicest people in the world. They tried intimidating her. At one point they blocked her off from her car. The 911 dispatcher kept telling her to get in the car. When the police showed up there were 4 cars. These creeps continued to harass her even with the police there. Finally a cop told them to step away from the area. The cop also told her not to move from his side. The creep driving did not have insurance. The other creep kept telling her that he would vouch for the uninsured creep. Not the best reference in the world. So after that mess gets cleaned up she moves on to my brother's house. They had to move all the stuff from my sister's car because her car was over heating.

When they get down to the lake my brother collapses. He apparently does this on a regular basis. He's all weak and shaky, and he only wants my s-i-l to take care of him. There he had his huge (tall and burly) son-in-law who could have carried him to bed but instead he insisted on my 5 foot sister-in-law to drag him to bed. She told me that it apparently has something to do with his blood sugar level because he gets better after eating chocalate. I wish he would get it looked into. I mean diabetes runs in the family. Anyway, with all of this going on MI didn't get to bed until 12:30AM.

On Saturday they find out that my brother took things off the boat that shouldn't have been taken off. He also couldn't remember where he had put things. So they had to drive into the nearest town 30 minutes away to get the parts. Then they got the boat stuck in the boat house. My brother lost his glasses when he jumped in to find out what was going on.

Needless to say they didn't get the boat out until Sunday. MI got to go swimming in the lake when they pulled into a nice cove. MI kept telling me that she caught all these fish but that Poppa (what she calls my sister's husband) kept letting them go. I'm pretty sure she had fun.

A Rainy Summer Day

Today it rained. It rained. And it rained.

It wasn't simple rain. There were intermittent thunderstorms. So how do you explain to children that no it's not okay to go to the pool during a thunderstorm. Or how about it's not a good idea to have your father's computer on during a thunderstorm.

So my day was spent washing clothes; I read a book; I tried to encourage the children to read; I played a couple of games of Clue.

The kids were bored. Although MI loved the fact that she could watch movies all morning and early afternoon long.

Don't think rain is going to be much of an issue this summer. I think this is going to be one of those dry, humid summers that is going to kill me.

My fear

I have a deep fear of being alone.

I've never been on my own. I went from my parents house to my husbands house. I've never been tested and tried.

I guess the companion fear is "How well will I deal with being on my own?"

We have a book at our library that I purchased at the request of an adjunct. It's called, Suddenly single mom by T.J. Terry. I glanced through it when it came in to be cataloged and thought there was a lot of good information and wisdom. I think it's important to remember that this book exists, and being an academic library it isn't likely that the book will be weeded anytime.

Adj. Queen. Girl. Everyone is afraid of roaches. They are plain nasty creatures. As far as someone making you eat one... I think you've watched too much TV!

Think about it. Roaches will probably survive a nuclear holocaust. Okay. They'll mostly like come out of it "bigger and better" for it, too. ;-)

Fear factor

What do you fear?

I wonder how many people will answer this question. I'll share mine if you share yours.

I'm worth more and I'm not going to settle... EVER!

Of late I've been searching for myself. Oh, I don't mean it in a cliched way. I mean lately I've been seriously asking myself questions about my life. I've admitted to myself what my main problem in life is. I don't care to share that bit of information but it is something that defines who I am, and why I do the things that I do.

Because of this epiphany in my life I need to think about my life right now. I am happily married but I see where I really haven't lived my own life. I've lived a very sheltered life. I've never been on my own. In fact if I were suddenly to become single today I would still not be alone. I have my children.

Yesterday, I went to a family event that incorporated several different families (not all directly related to me). A woman who is related to my brother that I happened to go to high school with was at the party. This woman has gone through at least 2 marriages. (I think it's more but can't remember.) Between marriages she's dated men. I hate to say this so that probably means I shouldn't say it but damn I'm left with no outlet then. So here goes. These men that populate her life are not very interesting, smart, attractive or employed. Which amazes me since she is smart, attractive and interesting and employed. After meeting the new flame in her life I had to fight urges of pulling her aside and telling her I could introduce her to men that not only are intelligent they look good too. Okay. So now you know how very shallow I am. But really I'm not that much into looks. I mean I like my men smart. This guy she had with her yesterday looked like someone who would be interviewed by the media after a catastrophic event for our area. Those of you living in the South, and other areas considered back water by the rest of the country know what I mean. The media looks for those individuals who look like they are complete idiots (usually missing a couple of teeth).

So here's my real thought. After considering these men that this woman dates and sometimes end up marrying, and thinking of someone else who recently found herself widowed, and the man she ended up married to a few short months after her husband death I'm really wondering about the world out there. If I were to end up single would all I have to choose from would be dorks? If so I think that I am really grateful for my children.

Considering what I've been typing here I bet you all think that I'm being very morbid here. I'm not worried about PF dying on me. I'm just thinking about some very practical things here like... I don't want to marry again. That would not be in my financial interest. Nor do I believe it would be in the interest of my kids. However, I don't think I would rule out having a relationship with someone. But I would be very particular about that person. It definitely would be someone who had a brain in his head. He would have to believe in evolution. He would have to dance (and I don't mean gyrating to what's on the radio). He would have to have spirituality. He would have to be compassionate. He would have to have a job (something more than the local MickeyD's) In essence he would have to be a lot like my very own PF.

What makes these women turn to these men? I don't know. All I know is I am definitely not going out with the village idiot just to be going out. I am worth far more than that. If that means I never have a date then so be it. Why do I right this? So that I can come back to it if I ever need to. I want to be able to help myself out later. Maybe if these women had thought ahead to all the possibilities out there they won't settle either.

DQ's 1st Holy Communion

Well I've been quite silent on DQ's 1st Communion. Mainly because I wasn't sure how well that day would go. I lived in silent dread.

So I can now talk about it. DQ looked lovely in her dress. I made her veil, and I am so proud of myself because it turned out lovely.

We had to get the church an hour ahead of time for pictures. I sat in our assigned pew, waiting patiently. Along comes the director of the event and tells me that I am in the wrong pew. I had forgotten to bring my sheet with me so not wanting to make a fuss I moved. Let me also explain that she had the father of the boy who was suppose to be seating behind us. (They did not show up to the rehearsal; apparently Disney World takes precedence over sacraments. [MEOW!])

Now I'm sitting in this rather short pew waiting patiently, and the wife of the man comes in and sits down behind me in the pew I just vacated. I feel a tap on my shoulder and the wife tells me I'm sitting in the wrong pew. DUH! We discuss this and I explain I was told to move. The husband reappears and tells his wife that Mary told me to move. I explained why I didn't attempt to correct Mary. But the wife continues. I finally get up and go to Mary. I tell her we have a dispute about the pew. I really used the wrong word. Anyway she tells me to move or do whatever.

So back to the pew. I explain to the family that Mary really had missed counted and I didn't want to make them move. I was rather frustrated at this point and the husband seemed rather attached to the pew, too. Well they did end up moving and we ended up moving. So that was the excitement for the day.

Anyway, DQ, was among the first young people to enter the church. She did so well. Her part in the ceremony was to help bring up the gifts. PF and I went up with DQ when she received her 1st Communion.

The ladies of the church held a reception afterwards. It was a lovely spread. The cakes were provided by a local fancy bakery. We stayed to the bitter end. I helped to clean up afterwards. In return the ladies made me take home some of the left-over cake and cookies. I was really happy for that since I was going to have a last minute dinner at my house to celebrate DQ's happy day. What a wonderful time we had.

ST's tooth story

Sunday ST pulled her own tooth. I mean, she twisted it out of her gums. That's how she corrected me when I said she pulled her own tooth. Personally I hate talking/hearing anything about teeth or mouth.

Anyway ST was terribly excited about loosing this tooth. She washed it clean of blood. She showed everyone that she came in contact with her tooth. Needless to say she lost her tooth. So that evening she set about writing a note to the toothfairy.

Dear toothfairy today I lost my tooth. I was so excited I just had to show every one. But after I showed every one I lost my tooth. I looked and I looked but I could not Find my tooth anywhere. if you have any time can you look for it your friend ST.

one question. What is your name: __________________ First name and last

can I have moor than one $


Everytime I read this note it brings a smile to my face. Not only did she write a very nice letter but her questions crack me up. ST is such a cutie. I would have scanned the letter but ST used some wrapping paper to write it on. It's too large to fit on my scanner.

Three daughters' gallery

To those who might be interested, I have a companion blog. This is dedicated to the art/creativity of my children. Yes, I am a proud mother but I am also a mother trying to conserve on space in her life. When this idea hit me I knew I had struck gold. Much of the children's work can now be digitized and saved. I am a happy mother now that I've come up with this idea.

So for those friends and family members dispersed throughout the country you are more than welcome to view the new blog. Please forgive me for adding those pesky letter verification things but I started to receive comment spam.

Stick horse

Last week DQ brought home a parent/child assignment. A state holiday is remembered today and the 2nd grade teachers thought it would be wonderful to have the children and parents create a stick horse together.

DQ was all pumped about it. Apparently the teachers also thought it would be cool to bate the children into a contest. In other words these stick horses needed to be made not bought and then they, the teachers, were going to judge our creative abilities.

Hopefully by now most of you know that I am not an arts and crafty kinda gal. Oh, I've done an occassional counted cross-stitch. I did a needlepoint kit once. I even hooked my brother a rug once. But I am not crafty. I buy kits. Remember that I was doing a reupholstering job lately?

So over the weekend I designed a muzzle out of paper towel tubes. I taped them together. Yesterday we got together to finish the project. See the rest of the weekend was spent preparing for Passover. I finally found a recipe for potatoe kugel that I like. Why do good recipes always have to be so labor intensive? I digress. So yesterday we spent sometime looking for the muzzle.

Once I found it. I looked at it and realized that we needed something to be the head. Well I have all these pieces of foam left over from covering the seat cushions. So I balled them up and taped them on to the muzzle. Now the nose looked too flat so I bunched up a bit more foam and taped that on to the muzzle. Voila! I now had a horses head. My original idea was to cover this in construction paper but I looked at this head again and decided it was too lumpy. So wrapped it in some of the remaining batting from the seat backs. Which then led me to realize that the paper would not hold up very well. So I measure out the rest of the material that I would need to cover the cheap chairs I have. The rest I used to cover the head. We, DQ, PF and I, worked together to sew the material together. This was a very long endeavor.

I finally had to get dinner heated, and the rest of the kids back in the house, and feed the family. After dinner I get back to designing this horse head. I use black craft foam for the ears. The eyes are large, flat brownish buttons with smaller black buttons sewn on top. The nostrils are small black buttons. PF observed that the way I folded the material around the nose made adequate nostrils and the buttons were not necessary. But I had already sewn those buttons on the stupid head and I wasn't taking them off. Earlier in the evening I had made a proclamation that the horse simply wasn't going to have a mane because I didn't have any yarn that would be adequate. (I didn't think pink or purple would cut it) I felt bad about that. While I was reiterating this proclamation to PF in our bedroom my eyes fell on my scarf. It's made from that furry kind of yarn. I now had a mane!

By the time this horse came all together it was 11:00PM! I was tired. PF was tired, and DQ was asleep in bed. Actually I think it's pretty cute. It is a red clay colored horse with a dark grey mane. So we'll see how it survives the day.

Wanting to pass on Passover

For the second time in 2 years Passover does not correspond with Easter. Now for many this isn't a big deal, and I suppose I really should be grateful for that fact but I'm not. I'm done celebrating things for awhile.

Perhaps it's the fact that PF is going out of town, and won't be back until the second night of Seder. Last year's Seder was a disaster. Really. My food processor broke; I forgot to put the turkey breast in the oven; I thought I was getting the kugel into the oven (that's how I found out the turkey was missing from the oven).

I'm not Jewish. I only started celebrating Passover with my dear husband back in 1993. We use to go to the Hillel for the dinners. The year we were going through infertility treatments we did a Seder for ourselves. Our dogs were made to suffer through it. At one point our Dancer dog started to make these noises that sounded like she was deep in prayer. We laugh about that still.

Since having kids I've started doing Passover meals at our house. PF is a lovely man but is quite useless in the kitchen. Oh he can cook but he drives me crazy asking me questions about how to do things. It gets to the point where I'm like, "Oh never, mind! I'll do it myself." I just wish he would do it. I don't care how it gets done but man all those questions is nerve wracking. Now my b-i-l is great! I love to cook with him. We work well together in the kitchen. He just does it. No questions asked. Okay maybe, "What do you want me to do?" but that's it.

So here's the problem. I really, really don't want to do Seder this year. PF is not going to be there to help, and with American Airlines cancelling flights I really don't think he'll make it home in time for the meal. I don't want to invite people over for dinner. I don't want to cook a large meal. I don't want to have to get the china out. I don't want to have to clean the china afterwards. I don't want to have to get all the dining room chairs finished in time for this meal. I don't want to have to clean house. I'm just not in the mood.

Would it be so terrible to pass on Passover this year?